tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74770538991278405062024-02-19T22:40:48.318-06:00Ramblings of SheldonThe musings of a proud Homeschool ApostateSheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.comBlogger292125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-77472118627963311872014-12-02T13:16:00.002-06:002014-12-02T13:16:58.024-06:00This Is Something I Never Wanted to Do, But I Need Help.....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Asking for money is something I don't feel comfortable with at all. I have never put a PayPal donate button on my blog, or made an appeal for money myself. Hell, I don't even feel comfortable asking for money for various causes.<br />
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I have only done that twice since starting the blog that I can remember, once to ask people to help popular ex fundamentalist writer and divorced mother Vyckie Garrison <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/10/please-help-ex-fundamentalist-writer.html">keep her house</a> (that was quite successful, raising over $19,665, I was proud to be a part of such an effort), and once to ask people to donate to a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-st-louis-area-animal-shelter.html">St. Louis animal shelter that had fallen on hard times</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvwTDMQUOPOHogEWCt4eOw9PvL18PpLCOMgDetej_kOnOnVCy1AViw9qJ3Nyg2efd34GHR2g5bBlf7UvBU94frDbR-41DTNCwLAaHCYDWg12iWlnz_qppgUjXp40yyCmib66_rq5VQdIs/s1600/2706458_1417471006.9361.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDvwTDMQUOPOHogEWCt4eOw9PvL18PpLCOMgDetej_kOnOnVCy1AViw9qJ3Nyg2efd34GHR2g5bBlf7UvBU94frDbR-41DTNCwLAaHCYDWg12iWlnz_qppgUjXp40yyCmib66_rq5VQdIs/s1600/2706458_1417471006.9361.jpg" /></a></div>
I have had to overcome my reluctance and guilt over appealing for donations recently, because quite simply, I'm broke. I have over $2,500 in bills that I can't pay, and over $900 of that needs to be paid in the next several days or is past due, and I have had to start an appeal for donations on <a href="http://www.gofundme.com/i2zjt4">GoFundMe</a> <br />
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How did I get in this mess? Well, several circumstances have come up, first I have a vehicle payment for the first time, on top of my regular house payment, after the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/10/plenty-of-chaos-and-new-diagnosis.html">vehicle related disasters</a> in late October. I have also found out recently that I have Fibromyalgia on top of the depression and sleep apnea that I already knew I have.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6qeq0DORHE7LYYiWOTP2GOhTKd-flbeeqmmaoqxWSNWdXAYIzWKME-wVSctkdemVrc1YzJxTZV2_XBeWQDgyGIReDw5-Orpnfs65HKONZlIVDzsPHUBkU376B2D2GIt4BgLlB31jayES/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc6qeq0DORHE7LYYiWOTP2GOhTKd-flbeeqmmaoqxWSNWdXAYIzWKME-wVSctkdemVrc1YzJxTZV2_XBeWQDgyGIReDw5-Orpnfs65HKONZlIVDzsPHUBkU376B2D2GIt4BgLlB31jayES/s1600/images.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a>Medication plus working out to lose weight and build strength have helped, but I'm still not sure I could handle working my current full time job plus what would probably be a physically demanding part time job with the energy levels that I have. Add to this fact that I still have outstanding bills still from a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/2-weeks-of-struggles-and-victories.html">sleep study</a> I had back in April, which is how I found out I have sleep apnea and got on a CPAP machine. One of the two companies that billed me for that from that has turned me over to a collection agency.<br />
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As it stands right now, I have <b>$914.73</b> in urgent bills including my house payment, vehicle payment, property taxes and utilities. All are due within a week, and some are past due. As for the medical bills, I currently owe <b>$1,584.52</b>, some of which has been turned over to a collection agency from Texas, thankfully they don't have my phone number, they have just been sending me notices by mail, but it will ruin my credit. Hopefully I can negotiate with them to bring it down, but I need some funds in order to come up with a payment plan or a reduced settlement on it.<br />
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So why $5,000 on the <a href="http://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/i2zjt4">GoFundMe campaign</a>? Good question, it's double what I currently owe, the simple answer is that I want to at least pay my regular bills, plus my medical bills and pay bills in advance (there's a small personal loan I have from my bank that I would like to get rid of to bring down my monthly bills as well), so that I'm<b> not stuck in this same position another month or two from now.</b><br />
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I want to be able to feel safe, like I'm not in danger of losing what I have come so far to have after the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">night from hell in December 2013</a>, and <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2013/01/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-confronting.html">the abuse</a> in <a href="http://www.heretichusband.com/2013/06/guest-post-i-am-not-victim-i-am.html">my past</a>. I want to be able to pay my bills from now on with just my regular work pay check, currently I can't even do that. <br />
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<br />I really need your help, if you can't donate, please make sure to share the fundraiser link on social media, and on your blog if you have one, the more people that see this, the greater that chances that I can pay at least some of these bills. I am grateful for my Google + followers, they have donated $175 in less than 24 hours and several people have shared the link. I so happy to have such a loyal fan base there.<br />
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<b><a href="http://www.gofundme.com/i2zjt4">Here's the GoFundMe link</a>, please help. </b><br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-69801267020829201172014-11-18T15:18:00.003-06:002014-11-18T15:18:34.930-06:00Fundamentalist Book Firing Squad<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have begun clearing out some old books that were given to me by <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">Mr. and Mrs. Psycho</a>. Most were rather harmless, westerns, mysteries, etc, that I hadn't gotten around to reading yet. Some however, as you might expect were very fundamentalist in nature, and there were a few including a book from SBC leader <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Mohler">Albert Mohler</a>, that I had bought myself over the years.<br />
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I was inspired to clean out the bookshelves upon going to a used bookstore in my town, where I found books like these buried in the shelves.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4lFGqjaVlPp-hLoVWv-N5Uf0447f2Y_fyrR0bbtkIPbZihecjI35REW01A6UmyKXTseNCI_wjR-htZYVnLFK3PptXNUNnFvM3vnM3rql53ZlTyE30T4io2gDsffTulzFdNRTNf17PWvU/s1600/dobson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4lFGqjaVlPp-hLoVWv-N5Uf0447f2Y_fyrR0bbtkIPbZihecjI35REW01A6UmyKXTseNCI_wjR-htZYVnLFK3PptXNUNnFvM3vnM3rql53ZlTyE30T4io2gDsffTulzFdNRTNf17PWvU/s1600/dobson.jpg" height="200" width="112" /></a></div>
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Yes, <b>that <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2014/09/james-dobson-and-adrian-peterson.html">James Dobson. </a></b></div>
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I had already had some sinister plans in mind for the few books I bought of his, but <a href="https://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/founding-board-members/">Ryan Stollar of Homeschoolers Anonymous</a> needed them for research, so off to California they went. I have been playing with pellet guns recently, growing up, anything remotely resembling a weapon was not allowed, even long before my father's <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/10/my-family-and-mental-illness-part-1.html">mental health issues</a>.<br />
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Which seems rather hypocritical of a rule coming from someone who had no qualms about <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2013/01/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-confronting.html">beating me senseless</a>.... but I digress. It's become quite the pointless hobby for me, and I didn't want those Dobson books going possibly into the hands of a gullible parent if given away, and I didn't want the same to happen to the fundamentalist books I have. You can probably see where this is going. <br />
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It would be a fun way to get rid of the books and have some target practice. So, I loaded up my Co2 powered pellet gun, and this happened.<br />
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I find it interesting that in the video I can see where the pellets are going when they ricochet, normally it happens to fast for me to see it happen. Trying to find pellets after they bounce in my basement is a game unto itself. I have to say, it was indeed cathartic, I fired several more clips into it, it looked like this by the time I was done.<br />
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If you are ex fundamentalist yourself, what did you do with the books, videos, clothing, etc from that time of your life? <br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-91323389766750367752014-10-20T16:13:00.002-05:002014-10-20T16:13:30.864-05:00Plenty of Chaos and a New Diagnosis <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Before my post encouraging people to donate to help ex-fundamentalist writer Vyckie Garrison to <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/10/please-help-ex-fundamentalist-writer.html">keep her home</a> this month, the last time I posted was on <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-broken-window-and-major-victory.html">July 28th</a>. This blog has been highly neglected due to simple lack of motivation, my health, some chaos in my life, and nothing really to write about.<br />
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I have been quite astounded that this blog has still been averaging 2,500 + readers a week irregardless, and as of the time of writing, my post raising awareness about the Vyckie Garrison fundraiser has had 1,027 views so far. I want to thank everyone who has been reading the blog in my absence. <br />
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It has been a rather strange few weeks lately, I had an odd set of vehicle related catastrophes (though none <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-broken-window-and-major-victory.html">caused by abusive relatives this time</a>). In three weeks, I have driven 4 different vehicles. Sounds odd, right? Let me back up here, first, the old car that I have had for the past two years blew it's engine, possible head gasket problems. It was scrapped, because it was well past it's prime to begin with.<br />
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Then, I get a bank loan to pay for a used Ford F-150 truck on a Monday, and overnight on a Wednesday, this happened.<br />
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Neighbors reported hearing a crashing sound at about 1:30 am, but didn't realize what it is, and considering the fact that we are very close to a steel plant operated by US Steel, odd banging and crashing, and shuffling sounds are not that unusual. Considering the time period that it happened, and the town I am in, it was likely some either drunk or high on heroin that hit it and ran.<br />
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It's rather shocking that they were able to drive their vehicle away from the scene considering that they hit this truck hard enough to blow a back tire on it and break an axle. Certainly it would have at least destroyed their radiator, leading the vehicle to overheat and shut down within a few miles. This hit and run suspect may never be caught, and the truck was totaled. <br />
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So that's two vehicles, I also had a Kia Soul as a rental car through Enterprise that the insurance paid most of the costs on, and I bought another vehicle.<br />
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I had to roll over several hundred dollars onto that loan due to the fact that I lost the deductible on the truck (no one for the insurance to pursue for the costs), and it took some negotiations and even a threat of a lawsuit to get my insurance company to pay anything near the value of the truck.<br />
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Then, I went to a new doctor because my previous doctor would not listen about the chronic pain and fatigue that I have had despite going on medication for my depression <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/07/a-full-bottle-of-pills-and-empty-wallet.html">over a year ago</a>, and getting a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/2-weeks-of-struggles-and-victories.html">CPAP machine for sleep apnea</a> this April. Both had helped, but I still felt awful.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitiyIUeP7DQHGldlq7uu5Dq-mPRVN4h5Xymem3Tiso1no_VI4aiHVomiBuksOGS7tM1Pv0a7baVON6f4ADtcRYkQ0-hsXDlQS2Ym7gQxQt5u0qvV6THty8ZxygJyMcEFNNNeabpwybQ_O9/s1600/doctor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitiyIUeP7DQHGldlq7uu5Dq-mPRVN4h5Xymem3Tiso1no_VI4aiHVomiBuksOGS7tM1Pv0a7baVON6f4ADtcRYkQ0-hsXDlQS2Ym7gQxQt5u0qvV6THty8ZxygJyMcEFNNNeabpwybQ_O9/s1600/doctor.jpg" height="173" width="200" /></a>After talking about the pain and fatigue, how it acted, how long it has been in my life, how it behaved, and family history, he was quite certain that I have the neurological disorder <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia">Fibromyalgia</a>.<br />
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It wasn't surprising due to family history, and the way this pain and fatigue behaved. Medication he prescribed has helped some, but it's still not enough, although mentally I am far clearer than I used to be thankfully. Memory and cognitive issues do go along with Fibromyalgia as I have found out, and it is so common with it, that the term <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/fibromyalgia/11-ways-to-beat-fibro-fog.aspx">"fibro fog"</a> has been invented to describe it.<br />
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I have been getting back to working out to try and stay and in shape and help with recovery, but with vehicle payments I am going to have soon (my previous vehicle, the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-broken-window-and-major-victory.html">one that was vandalized</a> was paid for) , finances are going to be stretched.<br />
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I have been applying for temp companies in this area for part time work, many of them run production for product packaging lines at area warehouses, the same kind of work I once did <a href="http://www.wideopenground.com/the-immgriants-were-nothing-like-fundamentalism-taught-me/">several years ago</a>. I need the extra money, but right now, I'm wondering if I could keep up with it physically. Maybe medication will have to be adjusted, higher dose. I just don't know right now what to do. <br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-32137116128574545682014-10-07T16:27:00.003-05:002014-10-07T16:27:58.726-05:00Please Help Ex-Fundamentalist Writer Vyckie Garrison Keep Her Home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJZa8osl5sIZQeMgE-NbK1dx__dnUZkU9dMIuYjP_GuypIaG39j_K7xNOeStXexSfCUE1BYQuZG9w6Uhi-ybxkJrJGemhc_HLNfzwWUUgtDFdgfRjZmoPGw5tfzri15BXYp507hkEYy_W/s1600/vyckie+garrison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnJZa8osl5sIZQeMgE-NbK1dx__dnUZkU9dMIuYjP_GuypIaG39j_K7xNOeStXexSfCUE1BYQuZG9w6Uhi-ybxkJrJGemhc_HLNfzwWUUgtDFdgfRjZmoPGw5tfzri15BXYp507hkEYy_W/s1600/vyckie+garrison.jpg" height="200" width="175" /></a>Back in 2009, there were few people openly talking about the most extreme corners of Protestant Christianity, the "ex-fundie" world in the blogosphere and places like Facebook hardly existed. Into this gap stepped writer Vyckie Garrison with her site <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/">No Longer Quivering</a> as a voice speaking out against the Quiverfull movement, which rejects all forms of birth control, and feels that every Christian has a divine mandate to have as many children as possible.<br />
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No Longer Quivering served as a community for the wives and daughters who left fundamentalism, and gave them a voice. It grew in influence and size, and she started getting more attention from the media and going on speaking tours, raising awareness.<br />
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Recently, she has been <a href="http://www.alternet.org/belief/how-playing-good-christian-housewife-almost-killed-me">interviewed</a> by sites as big as Alternet, and has been a speaker at conferences for Center for Inquiry and American Atheists. Her influence on the ex fundamentalist world can not be underestimated, she has inspired many bloggers, and contributed greatly to the campaign to get M. Dolon Hickmon's book <a href="http://1324book.com/wp/">13:24</a>, off to a running start.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBaCjB8ev4u2baf2MrClDrkvCVh4U1U0CJKSMK454rI6kMYQSa6kTHZMokBzozHTvkgXZaWpWjj0MncLYUg4ad6iw5q8cSW0J2eNr_MRukP8Qeiob4VvoAsoJ7wX8RhaqUA4FX5UETmC2F/s1600/cash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBaCjB8ev4u2baf2MrClDrkvCVh4U1U0CJKSMK454rI6kMYQSa6kTHZMokBzozHTvkgXZaWpWjj0MncLYUg4ad6iw5q8cSW0J2eNr_MRukP8Qeiob4VvoAsoJ7wX8RhaqUA4FX5UETmC2F/s1600/cash.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a>Lately, however, she has fallen on some hard times financially. She needs over $23,000 to keep the home that she lives in with her 5 children, and over $17,000 has been raised so far, but it's still not enough.<br />
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A fundraiser <a href="https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/q8t5/help-no-longer-quivering-founder-former-quiverfull-mom-of-7-vyckie-garrison-save-her-house">is ongoing right now</a> on the site Give Forward. Pay a visit, listen to the diverse people from the ex-fundamentalist world who have shown their gratitude for what she has done to help them, and our movement as a whole.<br />
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Her finances have been strained not only from the day to day costs of being a divorced mother with 5 children, but also from medical costs from care for herself and three children who have a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hereditary_multiple_exostoses">rare genetic bone disorder</a>.<br />
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If you can afford to spare some funds, please consider donating, if you can't, please pass the word on about <a href="https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/q8t5/help-no-longer-quivering-founder-former-quiverfull-mom-of-7-vyckie-garrison-save-her-house">the fundraiser</a> on social media or on your blog if you have one. Any amount of funds or awareness can help. </div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-46845111240535344912014-07-28T15:13:00.000-05:002014-07-28T15:13:40.991-05:00A Broken Window and a Major Victory<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This has been a stressful week. For two weeks I was out of Cymbalta due to problems with insurance, red tape and hassles involving my name change and an incorrect birth date in my file. Normally I fight through the pain and fatigue, and make sure that I'm using my CPAP mask for sleep apnea, staying hydrated, and just fight though it. By last Wednesday, I just couldn't do it anymore. I called off for the half day of work I had scheduled, and slept until noon. It took me until about 2 pm to be conscious enough to want to go work out, and when I go to my car, I see this.<br />
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I go on with my day, stopping by a Wal Mart to get Gorilla Tape and a roll of plastic similar to what is used when people are painting to keep paint off of carpets and furniture (I figured it would be strong enough not to rip). I knew damn well who did it, but I didn't feel like dealing with it further that day.</div>
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There's two people who would definitely do something like this, the kind of people who have such poor character that they think there is nothing wrong with <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2013/01/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-confronting.html">beating children </a>, <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/07/it-all-adds-up-but-i-wish-it-didnt.html">molesting children and teens</a>, <a href="http://www.heretichusband.com/2013/06/guest-post-i-am-not-victim-i-am.html">holding someone hostage in their home</a>, or attempting to <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">force their way into a house and make violent threats</a> towards the owner if said owner doesn't want them in their life anymore. To top it off, they are working on a rental house for a relative nearly two blocks away, so I know they have been in the area, and on the same street.</div>
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I made a police report Thursday evening, and thankfully the officer that responded did far better than the last two times officers had to respond to my address. I gave the dispatcher a little background the last two incidents, and made reference to the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/2-weeks-of-struggles-and-victories.html">order that M. Dolon Hickmon</a> helped to draft, and what the police chief had said the last time. I overheard another dispatcher say "oh God" in frustration as though they were saying "not this house again...".</div>
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The officer that responded did respond quite well to the situation and though he said what I expected that no charges can come from this without a witness or video recording, etc. If the object used to break it was left in the car, that would even help, since fingerprints could be run, but no such luck. <a name='more'></a><br />
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I'm thinking they drove down the street, with tools still in the car, saw the car (which used to belong to Mrs. Sociopath), got angry at the site of it, and used something like a hammer or large wrench on it and took off. <br />
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They knew if they tired to get in the house again, or harassed me on the property, it would certain arrest and jail time, so that was their way of trying to intimidate me as well as make life a little harder. <br />
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The officer that responded said he could question them about it, and try to shake them up a little. He told them about some new security measures on the property that I set up Wednesday night to try to make them aware that they will probably be caught the next time. He called me after his talk with them, they denied it as expected, claimed they didn't even drive down that block anymore, and unfortunately I found out later from my sister that the officer had accidently let my current legal name slip when talking to them. Oh well, this town is only 30,000 people, they would have heard about it eventually. <br />
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What about had me dying laughing at the bitter irony and stupidity of it was the fact that the officer told me they didn't know why I had cut them out of my life, it was probably because I was in a "cult". Yes, they called the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/03/an-emotion-filled-sunday.html">Unitarian Universalist church</a> I was until April a cult. <br />
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Because to a fundamentalist, any non-fundamentalist congregation is a cult, no matter what it is, yet a congregation that <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but.html">sides with abusers,</a> has a pastor that doesn't <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/stabbed-in-back-by-cult-leader.html">know the meaning of the word "confidential"</a> and harasses ex-members to the point that it takes threat of <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/stabbed-in-back-by-cult-leader-part-2.html">lawsuit or criminal charges</a> to get them to stop isn't a cult. Fundie logic at it's finest. <br />
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I was already kind of deflated by Sunday, and seeing a teen girl in a store that looked exactly like my <a href="http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/2012/12/sheldon-coopers-guest-post.html">former best friend Rose</a> at that age didn't help any. This morning, I got out the title and sale paperwork on my house figuring that though I couldn't sell my house until June 20th, 2015, I could at least have my name changed on the title, that would help when I do go to sell it.<br />
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I was in for a surprise. I thought I had to keep the house for two years after I bought it to satisfy HUD's conditions for being "owner/occupant". I'm reading the terms of the contract, and I wanted to make sure that I was reading it right. Was it actually saying 12 months? Could this be true? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzRP_3WLNz7ymZXxRHtHCllsHRQNSTiWcrO5mFfnecU12R_a7M1yENnRu9ns8Rkv6w-woWAVicZETmkl_YvnuTOUbqtU7i4_AHM-mRJC-DUZLOEGKWlZxCljwunGbR_zftgBnwfBEtn7H_/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzRP_3WLNz7ymZXxRHtHCllsHRQNSTiWcrO5mFfnecU12R_a7M1yENnRu9ns8Rkv6w-woWAVicZETmkl_YvnuTOUbqtU7i4_AHM-mRJC-DUZLOEGKWlZxCljwunGbR_zftgBnwfBEtn7H_/s1600/images.jpg" height="149" width="200" /></a>I went to the same realty company that I bought the house from to make sure, they looked it over, and they knew from experience dealing with HUD foreclosure sales that 12 months is the standard. <br />
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A realtor came by and looked at it, he said it will need some interior cleaning if it's going to be shown to perspective buyers and unfortunately, the problems with my garage roof are going to be a drawback and he was questioning the shape of the roof on the house. I haven't had problems with the house roof yet, but he said it wouldn't meet inspection for a HUD/FHA sale (which is fairly common in this town).<br />
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I was just relieved that I could sell my house finally, I have the option to get out of here once I find a buyer. Mr. and Mrs. Sociopath can keep this town, let them have it all, the pollution, their cult that is standing behind them, everything. I'm leaving. Where to, I don't know. I have been <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/07/11-months-until-i-can-move-but-where-do.html">asking that very question</a> in recent weeks even before I knew this was possible. <br />
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Finally I have some hope, all I need is for the house to sell for enough to cover the $11,000 I borrowed for HVAC and other work on the house, a few thousand to replace my old car, and a few thousand more to have on hand for whatever expenses come next. I don't even want to deal with moving costs, all the major new items I have in the house is a washer and two beds. I would just have a big yard sale and start over wherever I move too. <br />
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So many possibilities right now, I'm so relieved and excited. Do I move somewhere far away? Do I move to elsewhere in the St. Louis area so I can have the same job and have that certain income? The future is looking better already. <br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-6037569329490671242014-07-21T14:19:00.002-05:002014-07-21T14:26:34.440-05:0011 Months Until I Can Move, But Where Do I Move To?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday, July 20th marks 11 months until I can sell my house, and I can't wait to move, this town has been nothing but problems, both with family and my former church, if you aren't familiar with all this, check out my updated <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html">My Story</a> page, I have spoken about it at length, the problems with family, and the church/cult. <br />
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It's time to start over somewhere else, and I'm not sure if I should stay in the St. Louis area, or start all over somewhere else completely (which is what I'm leaning toward). <br />
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If leaving the St. Louis area entirely, I need a city that is not too expensive, not crowded/traffic congested endlessly (like say Atlanta, Chicago, New York City), and a place where industrial work, especially warehousing is plentiful. <br />
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One consideration is that I was thinking of is that if I could find somewhere within 3 hours of my sister in northwestern Indiana, that would be even better. Indianapolis and Fort Wayne both fit, because I don't want to be in the immediate Chicago area, too crowded, chaotic and expensive for me. I do know someone who is in Indianapolis, but I wonder how life is going to work out with my sister once I come out to her. <br />
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I'm open to suggestions as to cities, I might give other areas of the country consideration if it fits what I need. Once the house is sold, the world is open to me practically.<br />
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I'm not looking for to buy another house, the costs and hassle of trying to keep up a house is proving to be a problem, as I am finding out with my current house. I have neither the time, energy or ability to keep a house up. I found out the hard way that I freeze up when on a roof for example, let someone else do that. <br />
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If you have a city in mind, let me know what the cost of living is like, and what you like about that area, does it have what I'm looking for? What is the political/religious climate of the area? Any problems with traffic or extreme weather? <br />
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I look forward to your nominations.<br />
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(A good local beer brewing scene would be a plus, I have started to get into craft beer lately).<br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-86957956397837926312014-07-14T11:07:00.001-05:002014-07-14T11:08:46.278-05:00"Homeschool Sex Machine": One Man's Humorous Look At His Homeschool Uprbinging.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My name is Matthew Pierce and I write stuff. Sheldon is
handing me the reins for<br />
a guest post to introduce my new ebook.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00L6MFYE8">Homeschool Sex Machine: Babes, Bible Quiz, and the Clinton Years</a> is a
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teachers, and youth pastors with frosted tips. </div>
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It also contains the word
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So, about me: I grew up in a conservative church environment and was homeschooled for approximately 37 years. </div>
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Thanks to an ingenious plan wherein I grew to the freakish height of 6'8, I was eventually able to enroll in a private school under the guise of "playing basketball". In reality, this was just a cover that allowed me to get close to girls. </div>
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Because if there’s one thing that babes love, it’s a
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So, hey: think about picking up my ebook. It’s
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it has loads of awesome stuff in it: Biblical pickup lines, homemade<br />
Christian comic books, and—of course—bosoms.</div>
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Here’s an excerpt:<br />
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The Covenant Christian Homeschool Band met in a large house next to a church, and if you ever needed to find it all you had to do was follow the procession of cargo vans with Bush/Quayle '92 bumper stickers. Mothers is jean skirts loitered in the church parking lot, their hair bundled tight against all encroachments of fad or fashion.</div>
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Before practice the kids would congregate in front of the house and attempt to play football on the grass. No one really knew anything and actual football, and the games resembled a sort of very polite game of hot potato.</div>
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The class was taught by a very tired looking woman named Mrs. Neeley. She had what appeared to be several dozen children, almost all of the boys. My mother talked to Mrs. Neely on the first day of class and they decided that I would be in the class that wore red turtlenecks, which was probably the class for prodigies.</div>
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Very early in the proceedings I was pegged as a woodwind. I was given a clarinet and several practice manuals to study at home<i>. </i></div>
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The entire class would soon bear witness to my meteoric rise, as I soared to the position of fifth chair clarinet in a section of six clarinets. </div>
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There were tons of babes in homeschool band. One of the oboe players even had a beauty mark above her lip just like Cindy Crawford, even if I didn't know who or what a Cindy Crawford was. One of the girls in the flute section had actual bosoms. </blockquote>
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All of the girls were probably into clarinet players, I reasoned. Probably just drove them crazy. Maybe it was the color; a black horn. Black as midnight. Dark and mysterious, like me.<br />
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During class my mind would race furiously, creating elaborate scenarios where Bosoms or Beauty Mark would fall in love with me. I imagined Bosoms being cornered in an alley by a gang of public school boys. I would arrive at the critical moment, clarinet in hand. "Not so fast", I'd say, the only catchphrase I knew.</blockquote>
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I would swing the woodwind back and forth like a sword, knocking the swarthy heathens across the alley with brute force. Once rescued, Bosoms would fall into my embrace, really overwhelmed and stuff. She would wrap her arms around me, and for the first time, I would see that the color of her braces matched mine. Fate. She'd lean forward to kiss me and then ---</blockquote>
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And then, Mrs. Neeley was calling my name. The whole band class was staring at the 5th Chair Clarinet and wondering why he was on second base with his horn. Quickly I fiddled with the reed, investigating some phantom malfunction. It's okay. </blockquote>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Mrs. Neeley. I think I fixed it. </span></div>
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Up in the front row, Bosoms sat quietly with her flute in her lap, pretending not to notice. Pretending that there wasn't already a connection between us. </blockquote>
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I knew better. </blockquote>
<br />
<i>(Sheldon's note: If you wish to contact Matthew Pierce, you can find him on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/matthew.e.pierce?fref=ts">his Facebook page</a> or e-mail him at matthewpierce13 (at) gmail (dot) com)</i><br />
<br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-49455940996904860302014-07-07T12:34:00.001-05:002014-07-07T12:34:40.414-05:00Discovering Life: Alcohol<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I spent from 12 years old to my escape this past December in a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Baptist_Convention">Southern Baptist Convention</a> church, and Baptist churches of different varieties are well known for opposing alcohol. It's rather ironic, considering the fact that the Bible says that Jesus' first miracle was <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%202%3A1-11">turning water into wine</a>.<br />
<br />
The excuses given by many SBC people I knew for this was rather funny, some claimed that it wasn't really wine he turned the water into, but a fermented grape drink that barely had any alcohol content at all. Both from the descriptions given of festive occasions in the Bible, and any sense of ancient history, that's highly unlikely.<br />
<br />
It's been said that Jesus turned water into wine, but Baptists for centuries have been trying to turn it back into grape juice, which is rather accurate. <br />
<br />
There's also the old jokes about Baptists and alcohol that are common in conservative Christian circles, most revolving around Baptists secretly trying to drink without their friends knowing.<br />
<br />
<i><b>"What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? The Methodist will say hi to you in the liquor store"</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>"How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip? Invite another Baptist" </b></i><br />
<br />
For a few months after I left, I didn't drink any alcohol, not because of any lingering religious guilt or the like, but because I assumed that any amount of alcohol while on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duloxetine">Cymbalta</a> would be a disaster that would probably land me in a hospital.<br />
<br />
Well, I found out that wasn't completely accurate, limited amounts of alcohol (2 drinks a day maximum) actually wouldn't be a problem. That kind of limit was fine by me, the idea of getting plastered drunk doesn't appeal to me at all, especially the throwing up afterwards. As a kid, when I would get the flu, the part I always dreaded the worst was throwing up, especially that acidic taste in the mouth and throat afterwards, bleh.<br />
<br />
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Anyway, about two months ago, I went to the brewery and restaurant of St. Louis brewing company <a href="http://schlafly.com/#">Schlafly</a>. The food was great, but when in the restaurant, and during the brewery tour, they allowed people to sample different beers.<br />
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Some of them, I might have actually liked, and did like at first, but all of the beer I tried to some extent had this bitter seltzer like aftertaste. I was told later that this was the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hops">hops</a> commonly used in beer, and that it often takes time to get used to it.<br />
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I gave up on beer after that, but not alcohol itself, and after asking some ex-fundamentalist friends online what they liked, I kept trying different things, some drinks became my favorites, others I hated. Here's a few of the drinks I have tried since then, and how I felt about them,<br />
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<b>(A+) Angry Orchard Crisp Apple</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwdxyiCmLs7zh9i_3wqWoiirh50JLB3NiIcPtRisPgHIwGbcCWk6ajUv5l_kyKvUxZJR1K8o9JJdQjXqmERJArp5NutnohjxB0Iqz9oZcYsPfcLymK4iy4LNFdkfN7Y21yL8r4AUvPiPTJ/s1600/angry+orchard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwdxyiCmLs7zh9i_3wqWoiirh50JLB3NiIcPtRisPgHIwGbcCWk6ajUv5l_kyKvUxZJR1K8o9JJdQjXqmERJArp5NutnohjxB0Iqz9oZcYsPfcLymK4iy4LNFdkfN7Y21yL8r4AUvPiPTJ/s1600/angry+orchard.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
I have found I really enjoy hard cider, and Angry Orchard is the best I have had so far. Crisp Apple is good, a slightly sour but very rich taste to it. It goes great with any kind of food or just kicking back or relaxing at the end of the day.<br />
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<b>(C-) Seagram's Escapes Peach Fuzzy Navel (weird name, right?)</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1qXX7bGBP6PdmuK_oO-QSr__RWw7X6YZhq6nE70j-SNI3ROMhVK1SVE1NAxScO4Lor71YuLUGULGq3fiBpmwYI2u6ppGLMIgl3xbbE0VJ81WlTfkeUJjsCTEw3X1hJwk4o7nxxg-uIk-z/s1600/seagrams.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1qXX7bGBP6PdmuK_oO-QSr__RWw7X6YZhq6nE70j-SNI3ROMhVK1SVE1NAxScO4Lor71YuLUGULGq3fiBpmwYI2u6ppGLMIgl3xbbE0VJ81WlTfkeUJjsCTEw3X1hJwk4o7nxxg-uIk-z/s1600/seagrams.jpg" height="200" width="56" /></a></div>
It didn't taste horrendous, but it really didn't taste that great either, kind of bland and watered down, only thing it had going for it was that it was very cheap (just over $4.50 here in the St. Louis suburbs for 4 bottles), other than that, I have nothing positive to say about it. <br />
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<b> </b><br />
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<b>(A) Smirnoff Cherry Lime Coolers</b><br />
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Unlike the Seagram's, this did not disappoint. It had a nice tart but sweet taste that kind of reminded me of something along the lines of flavored 7Up. Highly recommend it, and since it is one of Smirnoff's coolers instead of actual vodka, it has a low alcohol content. <br />
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<b>(B- ) Twisted Tea</b><br />
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<b> </b>I have conflicted feelings about this one, overall it was OK, but I had to drink it slowly, and at times couldn't finish a bottle of it because it has far too much of a lemon taste to it. I don't hate it, but probably won't be buying any more of it. I am however using it in some BBQ chicken I am making today, that lemon taste should be interesting when it cooks through.<br />
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<b>(A+)</b> <b>Mike's Strawberry Lemonade</b><br />
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Absolutely great all around taste, Mike's is a great company, and I liked their Mango Punch as well. <br />
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<b>(D-) Bacardi Premixed Hurricane</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGRS_7QqbQ40BNOb0pcxdNURUxf3zgR2PKEIArdPpTEUuwNV0JAa1O7A0oTmp6YOhMJSEdOK7nOLzDiNzeNArayPoB0dGA1HthWcd0bLeOZEp7z_sueu2GAoys0QH-iLrccBwz4-uieMm/s1600/bacardi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxGRS_7QqbQ40BNOb0pcxdNURUxf3zgR2PKEIArdPpTEUuwNV0JAa1O7A0oTmp6YOhMJSEdOK7nOLzDiNzeNArayPoB0dGA1HthWcd0bLeOZEp7z_sueu2GAoys0QH-iLrccBwz4-uieMm/s1600/bacardi.jpg" /></a></div>
<b> </b>It turns out I just can't take that spicy taste of rum, attempting to water it down with various things (including blue Powerade for laughs), and mango juice drink just would not even hardly make it bearable to finish a small glass of.<br />
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<br /><b>(A) Redd's Strawberry Ale</b><br />
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I have yet to try their more well known Apple Ale, but if it is any bit as good as their Strawberry Ale, it will be great too. Though technically a beer, I still enjoy it, great rich taste, sweet without being too sweet, goes great with food or just any time I feel like a drink. <b> </b><br />
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I have seen in stores a hard iced tea that they make, which I am curious about, hopefully it will be much better than Twisted Tea was. <br />
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I enjoy talking about alcohol with people, it makes me feel like one of the "normals". Just recently have I really felt like I can pass in mainstream society somewhat, and talking alcohol, really makes me feel like I have made it, I have come a long way in life from what I was, and what I was forced to be.<br />
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If you have any suggestions of something I should try, tell me.</div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-13082484827416264542014-07-01T14:30:00.001-05:002014-07-01T14:30:21.113-05:00It All Adds Up, But I Wish It Didn't<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>(Sheldon's note: Reader discretion advised for this post, especially for abuse survivors) </i><br />
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I made the call was I was dreading making to my sister, but I had to know. Several weeks ago, she had made a vague reference to our "mother" who I prefer not to refer to her as, (usually I just say her or she, or call her Mrs. Psycho, I can't even bring myself to say her name or refer to her as a mother), trying to protect her from her warped family, but said she hadn't protected her from who she needed to protect her from, our father. She made some vague reference that he had done some things when she was a teen that she found disturbing, she acted like she didn't want me to push it any further, so I didn't.<br />
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Even before she had said that, since I had broken free from them after <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">The Confrontation</a>, I began to realize a lot of things that I hadn't noticed before, I spent so much time during my years as the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html">Undercover Agnostic</a> just spending so much time and energy trying to survive that I had no sense of self reflection.<br />
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In recent months, some things started to add up, to make sense, that I wish didn't. I didn't want to believe it was possible, not because I had any illusions that she wasn't capable of it, but it felt so disturbing, so violating to even think about it.<br />
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So much made sense, the way I was simultaneously the favorite of the family in her eyes, but also hated, and she seemed to resent my very existence as a human being.<br />
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I remembered the way she always seemed jealous of girlfriends and female friends as I was a teen, and would come up with bizarre excuses of why I shouldn't around them, and why they didn't measure up to her ridiculous standards of "godliness", and I could tell she was grasping at straws in trying to come up with excuses, even for her delusional mind, but at the time I couldn't piece together her agenda was. I remembered her delusions about the mother of my best friend <a href="http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/2012/12/sheldon-coopers-guest-post.html">Rose</a> supposedly hitting on me when I turned 18 (she was doing no such thing).<br />
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I remembered the disturbing way she used to hug me, even though she knew I couldn't stand her hugging me, that always left me feeling violated, and my father, ever her enabler, would chew me out later for making it damn clear that I did not approve (and she would always get annoyed by it), "she just wants to show you that she loves you", etc. (<i>she kept this up until I was about 19/20 years old by the way).</i><br />
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No, no, it just couldn't be possible, I don't want to think about this, I can't remember much of anything before I turned about 12, so it's possible it didn't happen, it probably didn't, you're probably just seeing patterns where they don't exist, I mean, she's pure evil, but that? ...shit, it probably did happen.<br />
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Even as I'm writing this post, I'm listening to Metallica and checking out comics on <a href="http://explosm.net/comics/3605/">Cyanide and Happiness</a> trying to hold myself together. <br />
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I called my sister, talked to her for quite a while, she talked on for some time about her kids as she always does, and I asked her if the kids were in the room at the time. She said no, and wanted to know why.<br />
<br />I asked her about what she had meant earlier about our father. She had said that our "mother" when she was a teen tried to keep her away from her family as much she could (contact with most of that side was ended when I was about 10, contact ended with my grandmother on that side when I was about 12), that side of the family included a perverted brother of hers that had made inappropriate remarks and gestures towards even other women in the family, and a sister of hers that at one point had sex with her 16 year old ex brother in law. (She came from a screwed up family that no doubted contributed to who she was, but doesn't excuse her one bit).<br />
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My sister said that she had ran interference between them and her when we were helping to take care of out grandfather who was dying from Alzheimer's (and he was far from a saint himself when he was younger, beat our mother and possibly molested the aunt and uncle I referred to earlier that knew no boundaries), but never tried to protect her from our father. I asked her what she meant, and it shattered any illusions that I had left of our father being a basically good man that just fell prey to Stockholm Syndrome/enabler pattern.<br />
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She said he had disturbing habits that included him liking to sneak up on her all the time (which got him her arm across his throat once when he did that to her at a car wash), trying to kiss her on the back of the neck, and she said she remembered him climbing on top of her a few times when she was asleep to wake her up, kissing her. Our mother never stopped him, even though it was clear she was uncomfortable with it, but she acted jealous of her, and the attention from him.<br />
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I asked her about the patterns I remembered, how it all fit together with our mother, and she asked me "Wouldn't you remember it?". Well, I explained to her, that's precisely it, I can't remember much of anything before I was about 12, what I can remember is in disjointed pieces, out of context, like random clips from movies all tossed together, scrambled. I honestly may never be able to know for certain, unless something causes it all to come back to me, and I don't know if I'm ready for that.<br />
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Already, my illusions about my father, I still though he was somewhat of a saint as recently as about this point <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/06/undercover-agnostic-update-13-post.html">one year ago</a>. When she had talked about our father, it came back to me, the way he looked at young women, even teen girls, his tales of his whiskey/LSD fueled wild youth where he had three "girlfriends" at 19, one of whom <b>was a 14 year old girl. </b>That would qualify as felony sexual abuse in any state. <br />
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My sister, after what I had told her said that it was definitely possible that our "mother" had molested me, or as I had said, possibly wanted to, but I didn't go along with it. It would explain her hostility and resentment towards me while at the same time, making me her favorite, why she didn't want anyone else around me, or to get too close. <br />
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I told her it all seemed too much at once, that I still struggled with wanting to see our father as a good man, but this destroyed all those illusions. I suppose I just wanted that hope, I wanted to think that someone other than my sister was looking out for me, but alas, there truly was no one else. His character was no better than hers truly, he just was better at conning people.<br />
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It also made me angry too. Because of "Pastor Jones" and his <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/stabbed-in-back-by-cult-leader.html">big mouth</a>, my old congregation likely knows about the abuse except for what I just talked about here, and yet I have been shunned by this congregation.<br />
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To use a reference from 1984, my favorite book, I am an <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/unperson">unperson</a>, I no longer exist to them. Even people who knew I no longer believed and supposedly supported me like my best friends <a href="http://www.laughinginpurgatory.com/2012/12/sheldon-coopers-guest-post.html">Sam and Rose</a> won't talk to me. When Sam sees me at my company in the lunchroom, he acts cordial, but distant, he won't respond to me when I text him, and Rose won't respond to me on Facebook. These were people who supposedly had my back no matter what, but they too have cut me off since I have left.<br />
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It makes me angry that these people would side with the cult and with two known abusers in their midst over me. I gave 12 years of my life to that place, my heart and soul to them, and this is what I get?<br />
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<b>Fuck you. </b><br />
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<b>Fuck you all. </b><br />
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<b>Every last one of you.</b><br />
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<b>May you roast in the hell you enjoyed condemning every else to, you better hope that you're wrong, that it doesn't exist. </b><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Papa Roach -- "Burn"</b></i></div>
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I can't wait to leave this town behind, seeing all these places of my past, my youth, the cult church, it's too much sometimes. Only 354 more days before I can legally sell my house and leave this town behind for good. I can't wait.<br />
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<b> </b><br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-42351856504521438332014-06-09T16:55:00.003-05:002014-06-09T16:55:43.100-05:00June 9th, 2004, One of the Best Days of My Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>June 8th, 2004, approximately 9 pm:</b><br />
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The phone rings that evening at my mom and dad's house, it's my sister, and my mom is wondering why she is calling so late from her home in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_County,_Indiana">Lake County, Indiana</a> in the Chicago suburbs. The answer came rather quickly, "M<i>om, my water broke!</i>".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjiSm0c-jG7MI7HrOg1530ftDZ4oQD-Hyx-D8giyDzrt5Sk9l92qufHOgRv4drdBrL8omVowPoNoFRxclgTTKzl4OtP6bGLlS8J1JkDw92ng5wm10om5DJPuab2nYnkAwMm10JoASdKqD/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjiSm0c-jG7MI7HrOg1530ftDZ4oQD-Hyx-D8giyDzrt5Sk9l92qufHOgRv4drdBrL8omVowPoNoFRxclgTTKzl4OtP6bGLlS8J1JkDw92ng5wm10om5DJPuab2nYnkAwMm10JoASdKqD/s1600/download.jpg" height="200" width="139" /></a>My sister was 7 months pregnant, and had already had complications with this pregnancy, and had a miscarriage about 2 years before. It so happened that we were already planning to see her, in fact, the <a href="http://leavingfundamentalism.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/subconscious-phone-conversations-with-god-guest-post/">old Ford Econoline van</a> that was my grandfather's had already been packed with most everything in it, including baby supplies and baby furniture my mom had been collecting for her.<br />
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My mom frantically had us pack what remaining items we needed, and shortly after 10pm, we were on the road. My mom was determined, come hell or high water, that she was going to be there for the birth of her first grand child.<br />
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She was so determined, in fact, that she literally floored the gas pedal, and the needle on the speedometer on the old van went up to it's maximum of 85 mph, as the speedometers of many vans and trucks of it's era did, and yet we still kept going faster. What was normally a 6 hour drive from our town in the St. Louis suburbs took only 4 hours.<br />
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Early that next morning, as the hours dragged on the hospital waiting room, as TV's were droning on with coverage of President Reagan's death and details of his funeral plans, my oldest niece, "Lilly" was born. She was only 3 pounds, 11 ounces, and short of needing oxygen for only a few hours, and having slight jaundice (which often happens with preemies), she was fine, actually more than fine. At only 5 days old, nurses were baffled at how she kept ending up on the opposite side of her hospital bed in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neonatal_intensive_care_unit">NICU</a> unit. She was dragging herself by her knees and elbows.<br />
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Today, at 10 years old, she is the natural born leader of her two younger siblings, is over half as tall as my sister (which my sister is only 5'2, but still....), and loves animals, including the family's obnoxious Chihuahua, which strangely enough actually listens to her.<br />
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Her birth was one of the few bright spots in my troubled teen years, and I look back at how far I have come since then, back then, I would have never imagined who I am today, even 2 years ago.<br />
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It wouldn't have seemed possible that today, I would be sitting here, a free person, finally realizing who I am and being able to live that out. I have realized lately that I am everything I was raised to hate, someone who <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-dont-understand-why-gender-is-so.html">doesn't fit any gender roles emotionally</a>, and is also a bisexual atheist with Metallica shirts and a tattoo of the logo of the band <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_religion">Bad Religion</a>.<br />
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I wouldn't have though that I would own my own house, and that I would have two adopted bouncing Lab mixes in that house that mob me as soon as I walk in the door, or that I would have a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-times-are-changing-and-so-is-my-name.html">different legal name than when I was born</a>.<br />
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I have never been happier at any point in my life either, I have my problems that I'm getting under control, like my <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/2-weeks-of-struggles-and-victories.html">sleep apnea</a>, my depression, and my weight. I'm making great progress with all three, I have a CPAP machine, my medication for depression is working, and I have started working out in recent weeks, and I'm already seeing a difference.<br />
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I try to remind myself of how far I have come, and the progress that is still ongoing, because sometimes I still feel down. In the past 2 weeks, my memory has been completely shot.<br />
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I lost my wallet for three days, and now I have lost my keys somewhere, and have had multiple spares made today from a car key I had in my wallet, and a spare key my neighbor had. I had a phone that shorted out, and I panicked after losing the phone that I bought to replace it (around $200 to buy and activate it).<br />
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It may sound like a bad case of First World Problems, but it really heightens my existing anxiety problems when I lose things so important, I can't stand unplanned chaos like that, and it makes me feel like I'm going insane, what it wrong with me? Why can't I remember all this?<br />
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I have to keep reminding myself of how far I have come, and just to take one day at a time, solve one problem at a time. Figure out what needs to be done first, and most urgently, and the rest will be done in due time. I have been through a lot I never thought I could survive, both in the past and in these last turbulent 6 months, and it was all far worse than this. I can do it.<br />
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If you aren't familiar with my past, check out <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html">this page</a> of my blog, it should give you an idea.<br />
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Here's my two dogs, I adopted "Lightening" over the Memorial Day weekend:<br />
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<b>"Happy Horse", 6 years old, Lab/hound mix, 105 pounds</b></div>
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<b>"Lightning", 2 years old, Lab/Golden Retriever, 77 pounds</b></div>
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-76035215288467098362014-06-03T13:27:00.003-05:002014-06-03T13:27:32.411-05:00The Long History of Atrocities Against Children and Teens by Ireland's Catholic Church<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The <a href="http://m.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/06/03/bodies-of-800-babies-long-dead-found-in-septic-tank-at-former-irish-home-for-unwed-mothers/">Washington Post</a> and several Irish and UK media outlets including the <a href="http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/church-to-meet-over-memorial-for-800-babies-at-mass-grave-30321303.html">Irish Independent</a> have recently been discussing what was known to the locals of the Irish town of Tuam as simply "the Home" and the horrors that went on there. <br />
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The Home was a home for children born to unmarried mothers, many of whom had been raped, in western Ireland. The conditions there were deplorable. Malnutrition, neglect, rampant diseases like the measles and TB were common, and to add insult to injury, the children of the Home were ostracized by nuns and teachers in local Catholic schools, forced to sit separately from the rest of the children, and routinely mocked and bullied by the other children.<br />
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What is even more of a tragedy is that in 1995, several children playing stumbled upon a mass grave of nearly 800 dead children, that turned out to be bodies of children of the Home. They were unceremoniously dumped in an abandoned septic tank, not even given the decency of having a proper burial in a church cemetery after the suffering they went through. Plans are in the works locally for the church to build a <a href="http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/church-to-meet-over-memorial-for-800-babies-at-mass-grave-30321303.html">memorial with the names of the children.</a> As horrific as this case is, it was far from an isolated incident in the history of Ireland's Catholic church.<br />
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<strong>The "Magdalene Laundries".</strong><br />
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The Catholic church of Ireland also had their own system of homes for "wayward girls", much like the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2012/11/exposing-ifb-horrors-of-hephzibah-house.html">Hephzibah House</a> and <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/08/new-bethany-ifb-teen-homes-abuse?page=2">Lester Roloff</a> homes ran by ministers and organizations within the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/exposing-ifb.html">Independent Fundamental Baptist</a> cult in the US.<br />
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They became known as the Magdalene Laundries out of a reference to the Biblical figure <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Magdalene">Mary Magdalene</a> and the fact that the girls were used as slave labor doing laundry and repairing uniforms for Ireland's prison system, working long hours, 7 days a week with hot and dangerous industrial laundry equipment. Beating and sexual abuse were common, as well as long forced prayer sessions. <br />
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Mass graves play a part in this horrible story as well, when one of these homes was sold 20 years ago, 155 bodies were found on the premises in unmarked graves. The Irish government has <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2013/06/27/girl-slaves-of-catholic-magdalene-asylums-to-receive-compensation-but-not-from-the-church/">issued an apology and offered reparations to survivors</a> for their role in these horrors, but the Catholic church so far has done nothing to help.<br />
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<strong>Abuse in children's homes in Northern Ireland:</strong><br />
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A hearing and series of investigations into Catholic boy's homes in Northern Ireland has revealed some disturbing information. Survivors recounted <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-northern-ireland-26339860">beatings and molestation,</a> one man said he was beaten so severely, he has <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/02/27/irish-inquiry-hears-how-children-were-systematically-beaten-and-abused-in-catholic-home-for-children/">severe hearing loss as a result</a>. Other horrors involved children being tormented for bed wetting, being forced to eat their own vomit when ill, and being made to work on farms at very young ages. One man recounted by beaten with canes, and told he was <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jan/29/former-childrens-home-resident-told-product-of-satanic-union-abuse-inquiry-termonbacca">"the son of the Devil"</a> because his mother was unmarried when she gave bith to him. <br />
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Why was the Catholic church allowed to do this with such impunity? At least in the cases of "the Home", and the Magdalene Laundries, the abuse was well known in the community, why was no one held accountable and the abuse stopped? <br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-176414216541665192014-04-27T15:03:00.001-05:002014-04-27T15:35:22.789-05:002 Weeks of Struggles and Victories<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a long two weeks since I last posted here, and much has happened.<br />
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The week before Easter, I was informed by my doctor that my constant fatigue could be the result of sleep apnea, I will have a sleep study Monday night, and he said that if this is sleep apnea, I need to lose close to 100 pounds in order to get the symptoms to possibly die down enough to no longer need a machine like a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C-PAP">C-PAP</a> machine.<br />
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Easter Sunday, I went to leave my house to go to the Unitarian church I am a part of, and heard a constant thumping sound, and quickly turned around after about a block to go back home, realized I had a flat tire, both front tires were too far gone to be driving on anyway, so I replaced them both.<br />
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Then this past Tuesday, the Psychos returned. Yes, the two from <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">The Confrontation</a> that I can't even bring myself to call my parents, because they don't deserve it. I was setting up a new lawnmower I bought in my garage when I heard "Happy Horse", my Black Lab/hound mix barking for a few minutes as though there was something he saw at the front of the house.<br />
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I heard a woman later at the back fence talking to Happy Horse and petting him, I looked out, and it's Mrs. Sociopath. I close the door to the garage and lock it. I called Granite City's police dispatch, and told the officers about The Confrontation, and that because of their attempted assault back in December, I would not come out of the garage until the officer arrived.<br />
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Despite telling the officers that showed up about how disappointed I was that the officer from The Confrontation didn't even ask me if I wanted them arrested, one of the two officers simply told them to leave and not show up or contact me again, took down my information, and had asked what had been going on before, then left filing no police report, and no arrests.<br />
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I was frustrated with the lack of response from the police department, and I knew how much good an internal complaint would do (none), so I went to Madison County's courthouse to try to file a restraining order. I was referred to a case worker for a local legal aid group that helps file the order.<br />
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She told me to fill out everything that had happened, all abuse and harassment, on the record or not. Despite listing this incident and <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">The Confrontation</a> (which both had law enforcement as witnesses to them), being <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2012/10/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-from.html">forced off medication</a> for depression, and being <a href="http://www.heretichusband.com/2013/06/guest-post-i-am-not-victim-i-am.html">barricaded in the house</a> and threatened with violence if I tried to leave, the judge sent a deputy to tell me (they don't even let people filing for restraining orders sit in the court room), that they felt there "wasn't enough grounds" for a restraining order.<br />
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I felt so defeated and frustrated that for a while, I considered going public with my story, under my name, trying to contact local media if any outlet would pick it up and embarrass either Granite City or Madison County into doing the right thing. I was talking to some online friends about it, and I was shocked at the response I got from the author and activist <a href="http://1324book.com/wp/">M. Dolon Hickmon, the writer of 13:24</a>.<br />
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He went first to Granite City's mayor, then their police chief, demanding answers from them as to why nothing had been done, telling them that he would start making complaints to Madison County's state attorney's office (a state attorney is Illinois' equivalent of a county prosecutor/District Attorney), and Illinois State Police about their failure to do their job.<br />
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Everyone changed their tune, Granite City's police chief instructed the lieutenants for each shift to notify any officer responding to a call at my house in the future that they are to arrest them as soon as they see them on my property, and that he does not want to hear any more complaints about a lack of proper response to a call again. Granite City's chief also said that he will look into the last two calls, and question the officers involved about why they declined to arrest them.<br />
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They also were supposed to send a lieutenant to serve a written notice I prepared that would tell them that they are not to contact me or show up at my property again, and will be promptly arrested if they show up again. I haven't been notified yet if they have done this, I will check later.<br />
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I am so grateful to M. Dolon Hickmon for his help though, no one was willing to listen to me, no one was willing to help, or to consider me as a victim of a crime. The only people who even tried to take me seriously in the legal system before he stepped was the caseworker that helped me file the restraining order application, and the deputy that handled the process for the court. I don't know where I would be without his intervention with Granite City's government.<br />
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Life started looking up after this, this past Friday, I went to the final court appearance for my <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-times-are-changing-and-so-is-my-name.html">legal name change</a>, and the judge granted it as expected. My birth name, which I hated, and at times, felt like a cattle brand on my back from my abuser is no more. I am so glad. I had planned to get a tattoo to celebrate, but I was low on funds. I had considered getting a tattoo of the emblem of the band <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Religion">Bad Religion</a>. I think I will get this done soon, though.<br />
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One of my fellow bloggers sent me a copy of a PACE, one of the booklets from <a href="http://leavingfundamentalism.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/top-5-lies-told-by-accelerated-christian-education/">ACE, the awful fundamentalist curriculum I grew up</a> with, to burn in celebration of my name change, which I happily did. I nearly blew myself up with a gas can after rubbing alcohol wouldn't get it to light for some reason, flames backed up into the gas can, and caused gas vapors in the can to burn until I put the cap back on the can to smother it (don't worry, I'm fine).<br />
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Another victory is that the loan I need to get the air conditioning and furnace system replaced in my house will be finalized this week, now that I have flood insurance on the house, it's going to be a big help for when I sell the house later, and I definitely need the air conditioning, St. Louis summers can get temperatures of 100-102 degrees with high humidity. Hopefully, I will have enough left over to replace my old car, which doesn't have much life in it in the process.<br />
<br />
I also noticed that anti-cult author <a href="https://twitter.com/cultexpert">Steven Hassan</a>, has been <a href="http://www.freedomofmind.com/Info/infoDet.php?id=764">linking to my blog</a>, citing me as a resource on the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/exposing-ifb.html">Independent Fundamental Baptist</a> cult, I'm glad to be counted as a reference on that group, and hopefully more people will be informed about them.<br />
<br />
I know this post has been rather intense, so here's a little light heartedness for you. This is Happy Horse with my neighbor's blue nose Pit Bull puppy, they always like to bark at each other, and run up and down the fence.<br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-40536912292469160022014-04-15T13:23:00.000-05:002014-04-15T13:23:26.598-05:00Stabbed in the Back By A Cult Leader (Part 2): Cease and Desist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
After my <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/stabbed-in-back-by-cult-leader.html">my last post</a>, in which "Pastor Jones" informed me that he took it upon himself to release details that I explicit told him were to be confidential because he felt he was "obligated Biblically" to do so, he tried to contact me yet again on Friday, while I was at work. He came to the house, and left this in the door:<br />
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Text:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<i> I am deeply sorry for the misunderstanding associated with our encounter
and my responsibility toward God and the church. The last thing I want
is for there to be something else in the way of you <b>coming to the truth</b>.
Please know that I care very much for you as many at Grace also do, and
<b> I would welcome an in person conversation with you.</b></i></blockquote>
<br />
My response, in a certified letter I sent off today:<br />
<br />
<i>In my last visit to your office, I explicitly
stated that the only information that should be passed to the
congregation is that I was resigning my membership from the church due
to the fact that my beliefs had changed. I said that any further
information that I told you was “not to leave this office”.<br /><br />Information
I have received in recent weeks leads me to believe that you have gone
far beyond those limits, and your e-mail response confirmed that fact.
What you did was plainly a gross breach of trust and confidence.<br /><br />You
claim a theological precedent for your decision to do this, yet to the
best of my memory, I never recall you making your policy on such matters
clear in any sermon. I highly suggest that in the near future, that you
state what your policy is on people wishing to leave the congregation; I
believe your members have the right to know where you stand on this.</i><br />
<br />
<i>I
also clearly stated that even if I could return to Christianity (which
was highly questionable at best), I could not return to a denomination
as conservative as the Southern Baptist Convention, and I most certainly
could not return to Grace Baptist Church. <br /><br />All communications
from you since that time have plainly implied that your only intention
in contacting me was an attempt to bring me back to the church, and to
agreement with your stances on theology (your statements on me “going
astray” and worries that you have driven me farther away from “the
truth” make this clear). </i><br />
<br />
<i>That shows an appalling disrespect for me as a
person, and for my decision as an adult of sound mind to leave your
congregation in peace, and quite frankly, it has reached disturbing
levels in its persistence.</i><br />
<a name='more'></a><i>I attempted to ignore such communications, but you persisted to attempting to contact me. <br /><br />Perhaps I was not clear enough that day, so I will state this:</i><i><b></b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXwq6yOJJJ2m3Af3MAnC8n-4_OL5hKEzZZDkPqvITlNY2amgK0pI0cmDYRJf0Bo4NfpbTxKBRO4z7fCCx6B-YvlSPeX9kxC4BgiV_ROtEDYu4CgjXftUG9Ija7c2fqB3XXdPrOitL17a_/s1600/no-tresspassing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXwq6yOJJJ2m3Af3MAnC8n-4_OL5hKEzZZDkPqvITlNY2amgK0pI0cmDYRJf0Bo4NfpbTxKBRO4z7fCCx6B-YvlSPeX9kxC4BgiV_ROtEDYu4CgjXftUG9Ija7c2fqB3XXdPrOitL17a_/s1600/no-tresspassing.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1f5LE4Kanv0CQDJDjPfgipj85Ets5C8f6bbPoZ0VGILAhK8aJzqSoQR4OOaVUI86wWUmBqCOt091OKPaKCPfRlleJjD7PVPm1hK4zrJomN-s9eT9YWo3FV4DKanNoHcHNor9DYLnci7j0/s1600/no-tresspassing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><i><b></b></i><br />
<i><b></b></i><br />
<i><b></b></i><br />
<i><b>From
this point forward, I do NOT want any further communication in person
(especially at my home), by mail, or by electronic means by you, Dr.
(pastor) of (church), it’s employees, or anyone in a spiritual
leadership position (such as deacons, etc).</b></i><br />
<i><b> </b></i><br /><i><b><i><b>I also do not want
any communication from church members if it is clear that you requested
them to contact me/encouraged them to do so, or their sole intention in
contacting me is an attempt to convert me back to the teachings of the
church.</b></i></b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b><i><b> </b></i>If you fail to abide by this notice of my intention to be
left alone, I reserve the right to pursue legal action including
criminal charges or civil damages.</b></i><br />
<br />
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<a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/04/stabbed-in-back-by-cult-leader.html">Part 1</a><i> </i>of this post has started to be picked up by other blogs, it caused quite a discussion at the anti-cult site <a href="http://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2014/04/12/pastoral-confidentiality-does-it-still-apply-after-church-member-resigns/">Spiritual Sounding Board</a>, and another blogger showed me that cases like this have unfortunately happened to other people out there.<br />
<br />
Blogger <a href="http://taylorjoyrecovers.wordpress.com/">Taylor Joy</a> told her story of childhood abuse, and her rejection by a pastor 15 years ago when she came forward to him about it:<br />
<br />
<i>My sister found out through the grapevine that I was pregnant with my
first child, and told my mother. My mother then called my former pastor
,from my former state, that I hadn’t seen in eight years, and told him
she was suicidal because her beloved daughter was pregnant, and had cut
her out of her future grandchild’s life.</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>I was sitting in Panera, trying to write a play, when my former
pastor called me. I could tell you what I was wearing, where I was
sitting, and what I was eating, as <b>I spent forty-five minutes trying to
explain to this man that my mother was an abusive person. That she lived
and breathed a lie. That she was pulling the wool over his eyes with
her, “My daughter has abandoned me” act.</b></i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>Guess how he responded?</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>He told me I needed to <b>“Honor my father and mother.”</b> He told me that I
was not doing the “normal” things a daughter should do when she’s
pregnant—shop for baby clothes together, pick out names, take pictures,
etc. (At that point, I almost threw up my brocolli-chedar
soup-in-a-breadbowl, because all I could think was, “What part of this
situation sounds NORMAL to you??”)</i><br />
<br />
<i>
</i><i>I told him I couldn’t do that, because I was afraid she would abuse
the baby. <b>He said, “Taylor Joy, you are being a tool of the devil to
hurt your mom.”</b></i><br />
<br />
"Honor your father and mother", <b>the same line I was told by Pastor Jones. </b><br />
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I have started to see where Pastor Jones is getting his mentality from that he has the right to keep pursuing me even after I publicly declared my resignation from church membership.<br />
<br />
Pastor Jones told me that minister Mark Dever, who was influential in creating the organization "9 Marks" was an influence on him, as well as other extreme Calvinist leaders like John Piper.<br />
<br />
<br />
Here's what 9 Marks has to say about such issues, in a blog essay titled eerily, <a href="http://www.9marks.org/blog/pastors-don%E2%80%99t-let-your-people-resign-thin-air">"Pastors, Don't Let Your People Resign Into Thin Air"</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>If a church does accept a resignation from someone who’s disappearing
into thin air, that church is telling the world that <b>Christians are
free to drop out of church with no consequences and no questions asked.</b></i><br />
<br />
<i>Of course a church can’t coerce people to stay. That’s not what I’m
saying here. What I am saying is that <b>the church has the responsibility
to oversee the lives of its members as long as they are under its
watch—which includes their trip out the back door.</b></i><br />
<br />
<i>The upshot of all this is that a church should not accept a member’s
resignation who is not doing what Christians do—in this case, regularly
assemble with a church.</i></blockquote>
It gets worse, here's their closing statement:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>So pastors, just as you pay careful attention to the front door of your
church, keep a close eye on the back door, too. <b>Make sure that the sheep
can’t simply open the gate themselves and disappear from sight. Refuse
to allow people to resign into thin air, both for the sake of your
church’s witness to the gospel and for the good of every single
sheep—especially those who tend to wander off. </b></i></blockquote>
Does that not sound like either the manifesto of a cult or the statement of a stalker turned minister?<br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-77468669763475702492014-04-10T19:35:00.004-05:002014-04-10T19:35:47.536-05:00Stabbed in the Back By A Cult Leader.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently, I had called my sister to check on her, and as we were talking, she had informed me that my former pastor, who I call "Pastor Jones" for the sake of this post, had leaked out details to my former congregation of a conversation that I had with him, the day I had personally informed him that I was <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but.html">officially resigning my membership</a> at the church, the church I had been a member at for 12 years, until I could finally break free form my abusive family<br />
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That day, he had asked why I wanted to resign my membership, so I laid it out there, told him the theological reasons, drifting away from Christianity and becoming more agnostic for lack of a better term, and finding a lot of acceptance and peace at the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but.html">Unitarian church</a> I am attending now. <br />
<br />
Since the abuse of my past played a role in the life experiences that led me there, I told him about how I was <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2013/01/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-confronting.html">beaten until I was about 11 years old</a>, <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2012/10/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-from.html">forced off medication for my depression,</a> barricaded in the house of my "parents" and <a href="http://www.heretichusband.com/2013/06/guest-post-i-am-not-victim-i-am.html">threatened with violence</a> when I tried to leave <strong>at 21 years old</strong>, and about the most recent of the abuse, <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">"The Confrontation"</a> , where just this past December, when I was forced to cut them out of my life, and they tried to break into my home, and nearly assaulted me <strong>in front of a police officer</strong>.<br />
<br />
I told him, even if I could believe in Christianity again (which is a massive remote possibility), I couldn't go back to a church as conservative as that church, and I definitely could not return to that church, for my own safety. When I told him this, <strong>I explicitly told him that I expected this to be confidential</strong>, my exact words were "this should not leave this office". He never once objected to this, and I went on with the presumption that it would remain confidential.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7w9Euwk01BsRjZsbjTWw6XpXMgaQ4jAHHqLGevPiKrthB8h7AY6uXnvkQkXZEFFZTM7e1qYTLVs6Ud3d6oHHBH2tSdme6PhLJEWfiKoqriwyXx-xcnEo5E56Mb0RItWYkvmRzqlZDUqBT/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7w9Euwk01BsRjZsbjTWw6XpXMgaQ4jAHHqLGevPiKrthB8h7AY6uXnvkQkXZEFFZTM7e1qYTLVs6Ud3d6oHHBH2tSdme6PhLJEWfiKoqriwyXx-xcnEo5E56Mb0RItWYkvmRzqlZDUqBT/s1600/untitled.png" height="200" width="130" /></a> Unfortunately, Pastor Jones had sided with my family, used the old "honor your mother and father" line on me, doubted what I had told him about the past abuse, and tried to chalk up The Confrontation to holiday related stress, and encouraged me to reconcile with them. <br />
<br />
Despite him doing that, I hadn't thought he would stoop that low as to stab me in the back by leaking this information out to the church, but that was the reports I was hearing from my sister. "Mrs. Sociopath" was talking to her about it, supposedly the pastor had told a deacon, who then went on to tell her this information.<br />
<br />
After I had heard the news from my sister that he had let this information out, I was furious, I confronted "Jason", my <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/05/undercover-agnostic-update-11-no.html">Sunday School teacher</a> when I was in that church about it, he works for the same company that I do, on a different shift. <br />
<br />
He denied that Pastor Jones would have done that, and said I had no proof, it's rumors, it could have slipped out some other way, I was rather annoyed with him, defending him, and he got in a little jab about me being agnostic, said that if I considered myself a person guided by logic and reason, then instead of just believing rumors about it, I should ask him myself. I told him I would.<a name='more'></a><br />
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Pastor Jones didn't answer his cell phone, so I sent him this e-mail, original screen shot <a href="http://tinypic.com/r/ddc0w7/8">available here</a> with personal information edited out:<br />
<em> </em><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em>Hello, Dr. (name removed)<br /><br />I have been hearing some recent reports that some of the information I told you when I was last in your office (spoke to you about resigning my membership at the church), was leaked by you to the congregation, sensitive information such as details about the congregation I currently attend. <br /><br />I will give you the benefit of doubt to answer whether it not these reports are true, and if they are, to explain what your reasoning was in doing this. <br /><br />It's rather troubling if true, because I had explicitly and clearly stated in your office that such details were in fact confidential, and were not to be released to anyone for safety/security reasons. <br /><br />Please notify as soon as you can about this. <br /><br />-- (current legal name)</em></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<br />
Later, he responded, and not only did he confirm that he did in face release this information to his congregation, but the reasons he gave why are downright appalling, screen shot <a href="http://tinypic.com/r/29pbyfp/8">available here</a> :<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1737" style="font-family: Verdana;"><span id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1736" style="font-size: 12px;"><em>Dear (legal name)</em></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><em></em></span></span> </div>
<div id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1731" style="text-align: left;">
<em> </em></div>
<div id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1730" style="text-align: left;">
<em>I would encourage you to meet with me about this issue for little can be said in an email with such a sensitive situation as this. It is true that I informed the congregation of your decision to leave (church name)and, as is my pastoral duty out of love for you, concern for Christ's flock, and adherance to His word, I did inform them of the reason for your resignation as you have pursued a different faith than the one to which we adhere.</em></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em></em> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em><strong> I was obligated biblcially to do this, as our Lord prescribes that the church body have an opportunity to restore a church member who has gone astray. I never submit to rules of confidentiality that are superceded by a higher authority whether that of the state or of God's Word.</strong> Further, I tried to call you, but I could not reach you by the phone number(s) that we possessed.</em></div>
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<em><strong>Therefore, I wrote you to communicate my intentions as you resigned the day of the business meeting.</strong> Once again, it is out of deep love and in obedience to God's Word that I have performed these actions. You are more than welcome to touch base with me about this issue if you like. I have tried to go by your house to see you, but have been unsuccessful thus far. You are in our prayers.</em></div>
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<em> </em></div>
<div id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1734" style="text-align: left;">
<em>Sincerely,</em></div>
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<em> </em></div>
<div id="yui_3_13_0_1_1397172483963_1619" style="text-align: left;">
<em>Pastor (name removed)</em></div>
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I had in fact broke my phone, and had changed my number, and he had stopped by once while I was at work, and left his business card in my door. The letter he was referring to only confirmed that he had presented the letter of resignation I sent him to the congregation, and that the church accepted it in a vote on a Wednesday night business meeting. </div>
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<strong>That's it.</strong></div>
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Other than him trying to guilt me into contacting him to discuss it further, he said no more than that. </div>
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I am still confused as to how he feels that his behavior is Biblically acceptable, seeing as how I had never heard him speak from the pulpit on his personal interpretation of how the Bible says situations like this should be handled, and he never explained his reasoning in this e-mail.</div>
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He's a liar, manipulative, passive aggressive, and has no concept of the meaning of confidentiality. I was naive to ever trust him.</div>
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<strong>I was stabbed in the back by a cult leader.....</strong></div>
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-4580924461354073212014-04-07T17:30:00.000-05:002014-04-07T17:30:01.651-05:00A Sunday of Self Reflection<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a long two weeks for me recently, hence why the blog has been silent. A lot of hassles with trying to get my home loan, which is being resolved right now, and I have had more fatigue and pain than I have had in years. Add to that a lot of emotional whiplash from a book that is an absolutely great and profound book, but highly triggering for anyone who grew up in a fundamentalist background, and it's been a mess.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hIJcYaodKKh8cg7HPZpm4wqmIebEwdB9YNZSY3L0qKU2PWHp8-ibXYsOTOispLVebZzCqGB-IN1vbm6w2ycveSFXDa7Px3-YJ5F1QuaS-8WC5Ej0zFW5yihyslQGsx12PWyaPre3Uq-l/s1600/PBK3Render.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5hIJcYaodKKh8cg7HPZpm4wqmIebEwdB9YNZSY3L0qKU2PWHp8-ibXYsOTOispLVebZzCqGB-IN1vbm6w2ycveSFXDa7Px3-YJ5F1QuaS-8WC5Ej0zFW5yihyslQGsx12PWyaPre3Uq-l/s1600/PBK3Render.png" height="200" width="135" /></a></div>
The book is the brilliant work <a href="http://1324book.com/wp/">13:24 by M. Dolon Hickmon</a>. An investigation into a brutal string of murders in a small town leads to all the town's dark secrets spilling out. One of the biggest secrets is a minister who openly advocates child abuse from the pulpit, and whose ideology is <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/03/a-major-victory-for-children-in.html">remarkably similar to real life fundamentalist leaders</a>.<br />
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There were scenes were the minister's son, Josh (who later becomes a lead singer of a death metal band) was having flashbacks to the beatings his father gave him. It was so raw, so vivid, that it was giving me flashbacks, not because of the violence, but because the lines that he used were the exact same lines that were told to me as a child. <br />
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There were so many profound statements that really spoke to me through the character Josh. A friend of his asks while he is in a mental hospital due to a suicide attempt and cocaine use. His friend asks them if he wants to bring back an old band that they used to have, he said he wasn't sure about that, and his friend said he used to be passionate about the music. This was his response:<br />
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I don't have a clue what I am passionate about because my father stripped away every shred of independence. It was never enough to <em>follow orders</em>. <strong>He had to pry me open, to make sure I didn't have any feelings or motivations that he hadn't given me permission to have.</strong></blockquote>
Then, in a scene during a group therapy session for survivors of religious abuse, he talks about why he can't believe in Christianity anymore.<br />
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"I was raised to believe that there was a God, who loves and helps people. I believed that, and I prayed, with the faith of a little child. God was supposed to listen; but year after year my father stood in his church, daring him to intervene. God never did a single thing. He never lifted one finger to help or comfort me" </blockquote>
When a Christian woman in the group become offended by this, implying that she thought he wanted everyone to become atheists, this is what he said: <br />
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I'm not saying that. I'm saying that we don't always get to believe what we want. <strong>Somehow we have to reconcile our desire to believe with the reality we have seen."</strong> <a name='more'></a> </blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGqhinRHOh6V6GkE5om5H2ZNtPOVlOIq8Jc3HOImnD8yPanZi9mxkvldFtxbSUgJFtTWuDr_dJwPeI6Z-YrAJrWRl9_JZZJ04Q23tPxNR2-XmEKbD7JM4kPVBi88k9nrdbiQo4A7kmIZw/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMGqhinRHOh6V6GkE5om5H2ZNtPOVlOIq8Jc3HOImnD8yPanZi9mxkvldFtxbSUgJFtTWuDr_dJwPeI6Z-YrAJrWRl9_JZZJ04Q23tPxNR2-XmEKbD7JM4kPVBi88k9nrdbiQo4A7kmIZw/s1600/untitled.png" height="149" width="200" /></a></div>
More and more of Josh's words described so much the way I have felt, and why I can't believe in Christianity. I can't wrap my mind around the concept of a loving, merciful god, i don't understand how it's possible that people do believe this. If someone does believe it, and that brings comfort and hope into their life, I won't try to persuade them out of it, but I just simply don't understand how it's possible to believe that. <br />
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Between my health issues and being tossed around emotionally by this book, by the time Sunday came around, I needed some rest, I stayed off Facebook for several hours, which is highly unusual me, and went to the Unitarian church that I have been attending since this December. After services, on the drive home, I spent some time touring some of the sights along the Mississippi River.<br />
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One of the sites was the <a href="http://www.confluencetower.com/">Lewis and Clark Confluence Tower,</a> in Hartford, Illinois. It's a tower that has 3 observation decks to overlook the Mississippi River. <br />
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It's just several hundred yards down the road from a museum dedicated to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_and_Clark_Expedition">famous expedition</a> of Meriwether Lewis and William Clark. Their campsite that they spent time at before advancing up the Missouri was somewhere within a mile radius of the museum, though Lewis and Clark made detailed maps of the locations they visited, it's rather impossible to pin down the exact location of their encampment.<br />
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This is due to the fact that the Mississippi River has changed course slightly due to the effects of locks along the river such as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melvin_Price_Locks_and_Dam">Melvin Price Lock and Dam</a> in Alton and many more similar locks on the river it all the way down to Memphis, and the effects of the infamous <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Madrid_Earthquake">New Madrid Earthquakes</a> of 1811-1812. <br />
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The tallest observation deck on the Confluence Tower is 150 feet:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVZaSc9TtcGZHH045QC7909jZk369IU-a9aqdGMWBVXlNjd5G3a5vvYwAChcAUwORZ_JRf5BIbQR-6uKRU6awTjohZanmyOZ1jPtzBoeN1fplP8uPYY55GkCQPTEVrWQqqa98o6fzMzzK2/s1600/10155497_1420564284868126_4588738801467871686_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVZaSc9TtcGZHH045QC7909jZk369IU-a9aqdGMWBVXlNjd5G3a5vvYwAChcAUwORZ_JRf5BIbQR-6uKRU6awTjohZanmyOZ1jPtzBoeN1fplP8uPYY55GkCQPTEVrWQqqa98o6fzMzzK2/s1600/10155497_1420564284868126_4588738801467871686_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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I kept going farther south on my way down Illinois Route 3 towards home, and made a detour to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Chain_of_Rocks_Bridge">Old Chain of Rocks Bridge</a> outside of Granite City. This bridge was built in 1929, was closed to vechicle traffic decades ago, and was rebuilt to accomdate traffic on foot and bicycle from a regional bike trail network, it was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 2006. During the time it was still being used for vehicular traffic, it was a part of the historic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Route_66">Route 66 network</a> of roads. </div>
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I walked out onto the bridge, there were a few people walking or biking across, but at times when there was no one around, I just listening to the rushing water, and the roar of traffic on I-270/<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Chain_of_Rocks_Bridge">New Chain of Rocks Bridge</a>, which was built to replace the old bridge in 1969, about a mile north. The stillness of it was comforting, reminded me of when I spent time at my family's property in northern <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Francois_County,_Missouri">St.. Francois County, Missouri</a>.</div>
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Here's a few scenes from the Old Chain of Rocks Bridge.</div>
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It was a two lane bridge when it was used by vehicles, if you can imagine that. It's maybe 10 feet wide at most:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK0OvATdwOETCwKH-tjLoiWainFET07QGF8iZ2dF4FrXF0FqAcCbXk_BTw-M4fveiHOOaScWUKAwCbLSSCxwkVCUBx3Fw8Dj7HKI0Yl9ilJOQ2iqZDvnE3gV_-Np50s0hWxSOic3_IkHdQ/s1600/10245323_1420564381534783_5047730309400711405_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK0OvATdwOETCwKH-tjLoiWainFET07QGF8iZ2dF4FrXF0FqAcCbXk_BTw-M4fveiHOOaScWUKAwCbLSSCxwkVCUBx3Fw8Dj7HKI0Yl9ilJOQ2iqZDvnE3gV_-Np50s0hWxSOic3_IkHdQ/s1600/10245323_1420564381534783_5047730309400711405_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<em>Looking north towards Interstate 270/New Chain of Rocks Bridge:</em></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTss-KtgYaSW-3lmaGRuYmhe_dQ9_mfihM5g_rxNKhLVmLdcb7ynl9Qj3IWpMCVmARZLNE8Q8KF7yOWOLZmLEC-_uwJ8F37NQ4ICcRbS7D0OKKX03jOSHkl2MkuWUJCSbGOVp84d5OC0wD/s1600/10245283_1420564501534771_9083826553074273631_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTss-KtgYaSW-3lmaGRuYmhe_dQ9_mfihM5g_rxNKhLVmLdcb7ynl9Qj3IWpMCVmARZLNE8Q8KF7yOWOLZmLEC-_uwJ8F37NQ4ICcRbS7D0OKKX03jOSHkl2MkuWUJCSbGOVp84d5OC0wD/s1600/10245283_1420564501534771_9083826553074273631_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<em>Wider view of the river:</em></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheAWb7fbmcfT4VuuO8IDK1i3-TYTfxtBm5B4hIIjS06S23arOVoS2ilN_PjXIejcP_5OlgL_XdlnbvYlN0wY-WSMGKYzvBN1RYZSgxX9Hp1iwTcRfOhno-WyME208w63iETn6iO3B5mwGj/s1600/10247405_1420564441534777_1110127220355263324_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheAWb7fbmcfT4VuuO8IDK1i3-TYTfxtBm5B4hIIjS06S23arOVoS2ilN_PjXIejcP_5OlgL_XdlnbvYlN0wY-WSMGKYzvBN1RYZSgxX9Hp1iwTcRfOhno-WyME208w63iETn6iO3B5mwGj/s1600/10247405_1420564441534777_1110127220355263324_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<em>View facing south, the small building there housed pumps for St. Louis' public water district, lines ran under the river, and to a water treatment plant. Now, there's a pump station on the river banks.</em></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZf1pC4C0Imtd9nMA3-7dPrM5NlHn_TVtTUfNrWPl_RT_jvKiYovL3T3D16i4hTPNWnZOXGaEmlFZ5-eF_-BCknPu9w66sy45JzytQV1CFdgCZadvW8X8OszJg53W2g_CTkfv0v6EKeMbN/s1600/1010699_1420564251534796_3906437802129245548_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZf1pC4C0Imtd9nMA3-7dPrM5NlHn_TVtTUfNrWPl_RT_jvKiYovL3T3D16i4hTPNWnZOXGaEmlFZ5-eF_-BCknPu9w66sy45JzytQV1CFdgCZadvW8X8OszJg53W2g_CTkfv0v6EKeMbN/s1600/1010699_1420564251534796_3906437802129245548_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-76449688668319054942014-03-24T14:59:00.003-06:002014-03-24T14:59:43.522-06:00A Major Victory for Children In Wisconsin<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSOXhx7nxAoPnjzTUS_yOn3ZyC_3F3MlPqllh7MMKB8PIbpXXONU7vSzuiwIywRL1bmAUUdFYWHD2_F-1gw5AlsIQT-3Fkc9v2ZfGZmJ7JkmQ1qpVGPiujMvWpCHOEf3Pc5trLk0mFkGPh/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSOXhx7nxAoPnjzTUS_yOn3ZyC_3F3MlPqllh7MMKB8PIbpXXONU7vSzuiwIywRL1bmAUUdFYWHD2_F-1gw5AlsIQT-3Fkc9v2ZfGZmJ7JkmQ1qpVGPiujMvWpCHOEf3Pc5trLk0mFkGPh/s1600/images.jpg" height="149" width="200" /></a></div>
In 2012, a Wisconsin pastor named Phillip Camintini was <a href="http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/crime_and_courts/black-earth-pastor-gets-years-in-prison-in-child-abuse/article_de5ac314-a6ba-11e1-94c4-0019bb2963f4.html">sentenced to two years in prison</a> to followed by 6 years of supervised release for conspiracy to commit child abuse. As pastor of Aleitheia Bible Church, he would tell his members to beat children as young as <b>two months old</b> with wooden spoons and rods.<br />
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As a part of the sentence, the judge also told him that he could not have contact with members of his church, and could not take a leadership role in any church.<br />
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He appealed his conviction, and this past week, Wisconsin's 4th district appeals court <a href="http://lacrossetribune.com/news/state-and-regional/wi/appeals-court-upholds-pastor-s-abuse-conviction/article_e1ae08b7-5b6e-5ea1-aa3d-3fa5c7e6bcfd.html">upheld his conviction</a>, over his claims that it violated his rights to free speech and freedom of religion. Those arguments were rejected by the court, in their ruling, they said that the state "has a compelling interest in preventing child abuse".<br />
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If only prosecutors would go after these people too.....<br />
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<b>Micheal and Debi Pearl:</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIaU4g_6rd5CGZwesUobwdNalTcrDu6RuMAmY6Yqo_n2xzJKBpSC1_O7liPoOqaq_X1fqJaJ-V8dyYmti7GOW7Vvm0LkMampQJqMoFjHbwewWdoEeZ2IEPyvrNuRX9J0Geuaw3TWI4Qe2u/s1600/Pearls.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIaU4g_6rd5CGZwesUobwdNalTcrDu6RuMAmY6Yqo_n2xzJKBpSC1_O7liPoOqaq_X1fqJaJ-V8dyYmti7GOW7Vvm0LkMampQJqMoFjHbwewWdoEeZ2IEPyvrNuRX9J0Geuaw3TWI4Qe2u/s1600/Pearls.jpeg" height="200" width="176" /></a></div>
Husband and wife team who have written horrendous books on child raising, and family issues.<br />
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Some quotes from their book, To Train Up A Child can be found <a href="http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/michael-debi-pearl-abuse">here</a>:<br />
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<i>If you have to<b> sit on him to spank him</b> then do not hesitate. And hold
him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher,
more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him
totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to
rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.</i></blockquote>
You can read more about them in my <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2012/12/exposing-ifb-micheal-and-debi-pearl.html">Exposing the IFB post on them</a>.<br />
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<a name='more'></a><b>Reb Bradley</b>:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8QTSq9TAIdVsaqzjdWkRfpIUPyRdgyazohnT9RIJOxsEkfha74m3_VDW_hBS_1Gpj0aq_hyvHuTT8XA_2OdpJ_s0sqjxrGWW82qvY0jQDYzkkZRYXgolHDm-zJuBRxw2bdaf6D2pqYvx/s1600/reb+bradley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr8QTSq9TAIdVsaqzjdWkRfpIUPyRdgyazohnT9RIJOxsEkfha74m3_VDW_hBS_1Gpj0aq_hyvHuTT8XA_2OdpJ_s0sqjxrGWW82qvY0jQDYzkkZRYXgolHDm-zJuBRxw2bdaf6D2pqYvx/s1600/reb+bradley.jpg" height="200" width="167" /></a></div>
His book, Child Training Tips, has it's own horrendous advice on raising children, this is an excerpt from chapter 4 of the book that was <a href="http://www.familyministries.com/how_we_accidentally_teach_disobedience.htm">posted to his ministry's website.</a><br />
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It talks about how he feels parents "accidentally teach their children to disobey them". In this excerpt, he presumes that parents already have a paddle to beat their children with, as he advocates in his books.<br />
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He gives an example of the types of threats that a parent might make, and state his belief in the chapter that parent's shouldn't threaten, they should just give the command, and then do it. Here's what he imagines a parent listening to his advice might say as a threat:<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal;"> </span><i>"Want me to get
the spanking paddle? Here I go.</i>
(Stomp, stomp, stomp). <i>Okay, I'm getting the paddle. Okay, I've
got it and I'm coming in now to give you a spank if you've not
obeyed yet. Okay?"</i> Never threaten to spank. If your child is
asserting his will against yours, causing you to want to warn him,
he is already in need of chastisement. (Further discussion on
chastisement in chapter 5 of Child Training Tips.)</span></span></h2>
</blockquote>
For an idea of the kind of impact that this kind of ideas have, and for a detailed breakdown of Reb Bradley's horrendous ideas, check out this <a href="http://pasttensepresentprogressive.blogspot.com/2012/08/biblical-parenting-introduction.html">6 part series</a> by a blogger who grew up with parents who were followers of his.<br />
<br />
I just wonder, when are prosecutors in states besides Wisconsin ever going to get the courage to go after fundamentalist leaders who advocate abuse? <br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-11278266306328327902014-03-18T12:40:00.001-06:002014-03-18T12:50:43.977-06:00Recovering Grace Founders Speak to Christian Radio Show About Bill Gothard<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I regrettably hadn't kept up with the recent news about cult leader Bill Gothard, who was coming under fire because of revelations by the Christian watchdog group <a href="http://www.recoveringgrace.org/">Recovering Grace</a> that he had been <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/cult-leader-bill-gothard-new-abuse.html">sexually abusing teen girls</a> for nearly 40 years.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYkhgR5aJnyRQe3DgPb6kOtzzK5Nit1g8tYL-HEIawJRBePz2x165hWRdvVoh7U_CpXyIS3MflTz_TRICxS3ECnkd-3Jmi9NeaVDO6iK4NCdkx9GoG7neB4ke_tAIYFsba2cwbYicqODG/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvYkhgR5aJnyRQe3DgPb6kOtzzK5Nit1g8tYL-HEIawJRBePz2x165hWRdvVoh7U_CpXyIS3MflTz_TRICxS3ECnkd-3Jmi9NeaVDO6iK4NCdkx9GoG7neB4ke_tAIYFsba2cwbYicqODG/s1600/index.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a>I hadn't updated the blog about some of the recent developments, since my last post about him, Oak Brook College of Law, an institution that he founded, <a href="http://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/oak-brook-college-of-law-distances-itself-from-bill-gothard-and-iblp/">officially cut ties with him and his organizations</a>, and most importantly, Gothard <a href="http://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/2014/03/06/bill-gothard-resigns-from-iblp/">has resigned from the boards of IBLP and ATI</a>, the cornerstones of his empire.<br />
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Recently, Recovering Grace founders Dr. John Cornish and Kari Underwood, both survivors of his cult spoke to "Issues Etc." a Christian radio show in the Midwest about their time in the cult, what they saw during their time there, recent developments regarding Gothard, and their work to expose the toxic teachings of his organizations Institute of Basic Life Principles, and Advanced Training Institute.<br />
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He had some rather odd, and disturbing teachings that I have <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2012/11/exposing-ifb-pastor-bill-gothard-and.html">talked about before</a>, including his disturbing teaching about sexual abuse, his support for Christians following Old Testament food laws, and his opposition to birth control.<br />
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Now over 50 women have come forward to speak out about what Bill Gothard had done to them (with more come forward by the day), and Dr. Cornish and Mrs. Underwood talk about how frighteningly similar many of their accounts have been, and talk about how he carried out the abuse, and how he always liked to have teen girls surrounding him at all times at his headquarters.<br />
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The full episode is available on the website of the Issues, Etc. show. I will advise you that this show is very openly evangelical (there was a commercial about supporting "traditional marriage" when I listened to it), but this interview is worth listening to for more information of Bill Gothard.<br />
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<a href="http://issuesetc.org/2014/03/17/1-abuse-allegations-against-bill-gothard-founder-of-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-dr-john-cornish-and-kari-underwood-31714/">Listen to the full episode here</a> </div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-67453676108396621072014-03-17T12:53:00.001-06:002014-03-17T12:53:24.868-06:00Why I'm Not Celebrating the Recent News About Fred Phelps<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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For those who haven't already heard, Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church infamy is only months away from death, according to a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/NatePhelps/posts/10151924300961765?stream_ref=5">public statement</a> by his estranged son, Nate, Saturday night on his public Facebook page. Nate left the family and their cult behind at 18, and became a gay rights activist in Canada.<br />
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Here's is the statement in it's entirety:<br />
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<div class="mbs _5pbx userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">
<i>I've
learned that my father, Fred Phelps, Sr., pastor of the "God Hates
Fags" Westboro Baptist Church, was ex-communicated from the "church"
back in August of 2013. He is now on the edge of death at Midland
Hospice house in Topeka, Kansas. </i><br />
<br />
<i> I'm not sure how I feel about
this. Terribly ironic that his devotion to his god ends this way. </i><br />
<br />
<i>Destroyed by the monster he made. </i><br />
<br />
<i> I feel sad for all the hurt
he's caused so many. I feel sad for those who will lose the grandfather
and father they loved. And I'm bitterly angry that my family is blocking
the family members who left from seeing him, and saying their
good-byes.</i></div>
</blockquote>
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Famous atheist writer Hemant Mehta, best known as The Friendly Atheist, <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/03/15/fred-phelps-founder-of-the-god-hates-fags-westboro-baptist-church-is-on-the-edge-of-death/">personally confirmed the details</a> by phone with Nate himself. There's a lot more questions than answers right now, especially regarding why his own church excommunicated him, and it's lead me to question why.<br />
<br />
I have noticed online that some people have been celebrating this news, saying that there should be protests at his funeral, as a kind of payback, and cheering the fact that a man who dedicated his life to hate is finally dying.<br />
<br />
I can't join in on that kind of talk, I just don't feel that way. I have no sympathies whatsoever for Fred Phelps, but <b>I'm mourning. </b><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjyFB-kF9FIDpF3q3pc0Snoa4pG68p8sVHLf5AgBfpMzYSYCWDsniyXiXmV4uyfBo4WgBLzJjw2zurG4ixHu24Bq2UqLVGKijIbsmHRacwMpxZyF94E49tVBO0P2NW-zI3_fdN6-WlZP1/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjyFB-kF9FIDpF3q3pc0Snoa4pG68p8sVHLf5AgBfpMzYSYCWDsniyXiXmV4uyfBo4WgBLzJjw2zurG4ixHu24Bq2UqLVGKijIbsmHRacwMpxZyF94E49tVBO0P2NW-zI3_fdN6-WlZP1/s1600/index.jpg" height="149" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Nate Phelps)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Mourning for the lives he damaged, the family members of his who had to make the choice between remaining in this hateful cult, or still having contact with their own family.<br />
<br />
I mourn that Nate, and his fellow relatives who grew up in this family will never know what it's like to have a normal childhood, but were instead used as pawns to feed the desire for publicity by an egomaniac, they weren't treated like loved sons, daughters, nieces/nephews or grandchildren, but as a means to an end, to build an empire for Fred Phelps.<br />
<br />
It's sad that those who escaped, and tried to build a better life for themselves are not going to be allowed to mourn the passing of someone they have still loved in spite of it all (it may sound strange if you never grew up in a dysfunctional/abusive environment, but it's possible) with the rest of their family, or even be able to say their goodbyes at a proper funeral <br />
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I mourn for the families of soldiers that not only had to face the grief of losing a young relative, but had to face vile hatred like this when they left the funeral home, the images will probably be in their minds for life:<br />
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He built an empire of hate, and in the end, it come to nothing. He's now dying alone in a hospice center, being cared for by strangers, instead of having his family by his side, his church has apparently thrown him out of his leadership role, and no one has any compassion for him now.<br />
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Even his political agenda came to nothing. I think that the strides that the gay rights movement has made so far, some of it wouldn't be possible without him. He exposed the raw, vile, disgusting nature of homophobia at it's core, and in American society, partly because of him, homophobia is no longer fashionable as it once was. Opponents of gay rights got to see just what they looked like to the outside world, and it wasn't pretty.<br />
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In his ambition to become famous for his hate, he destroyed everything he cared about, and several of his own family members, besides Nate himself, dedicated their lives to fighting what he stood for. It's tragic what he ended up doing to everyone around him due to his ego.<br />
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No, I won't be celebrating his death, but I want to be there, in support of everyone he harmed, and may his life be a lesson to everyone of how hate doesn't get you anywhere in life, and that blind ambition and ego are destructive. Let's work towards building a better future, and not let our anger, (even as justified as it may be toward him) eat us up inside, and lose sight of what is important, of fighting for what's right, and leaving a better future for those who come after us.<br />
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-32390712652396140802014-03-10T12:11:00.001-06:002014-03-10T12:11:32.637-06:00This Week in Fundamentalism: Horrific New Rape Bill In Mozambique, Gun Giveaways and Blackface Skits in Kentucky<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There's been so many things going on lately that just boggle the mind and leave you in a state of shock that have been going on in fundamentalism lately, and 2 of the 3 are happening right here in the US.<br />
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<b>Kentucky church apologizes for Blackface skit:</b><br />
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An <b> </b><a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/p/exposing-ifb.html">Independent Fundamental Baptist </a>church in Lexington, Kentucky, called Clays Mill Road Baptist church is apologizing for a humor skit at a youth conference where a church staffer put on black face paint, apparently trying to portray 70's actor <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._T">Mr. T</a>, while in a fake boxing match with a man playing <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curly_Howard">Curly</a> of the 1930's comedy The Three Stooges.<br />
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According to the <a href="http://www.kentucky.com/2014/03/08/3129290/lexington-pastor-apologizes-for.html">Lexington Herald</a>, their pastor claims he was unaware of the skit's content before until after the fact, and says the church staffer meant no harm by it, and didn't realize people would be offended.<br />
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It's hard to imagine that an adult in the American South would be ignorant of how people would be offended not only by skit itself, but how it's eerily reminiscent of the highly racist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minstrel_show">minstrel shows</a> of the 1800's.<br />
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<br />
The IFB survivor's blog Stuff Fundies Like has <a href="http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2014/03/blackface-boxing-matches/">a video of the offensive skit</a> up right now, this picture of the church staffer should give you an idea how awful it was:<br />
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<b>Paducah, Kentucky church brings in people with gun giveaways:</b></div>
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NPR recently had an article on a church using <a href="http://www.npr.org/2014/03/10/287311237/kentucky-southern-baptists-draw-crowds-with-gun-giveaways">giveaways of donated guns </a>to bring people to services. Participants must sit through the entire service, altar call included, in order to receive a free gun. Ironically enough, though the guns are free (after passing full background checks), the Bibles on display aren't free, they're for sale</div>
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The article quote Kentucky's executive director of the Southern Baptist Convention, who thinks this is a great way to bring in people to the church. Regardless of how you feel about guns, this does come across as rather bizarre, and a cheap gimmick. The irony of free guns, but Bibles for sale is also kind of hard to escape.</div>
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<b>Horrific new sexual assault bill </b><b>proposed in Mozambique:</b></div>
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Amnesty International is calling attention to a new bill bill in Mozambique that would legalize rape if the <a href="https://www.amnesty.org.uk/actions/mozambique-womens-rights-rape-bill">attacker marries the victim</a><b> </b>, and remains married to them for at least 5 years. Amnesty is saying that it's already a well established social custom there, but this would make it official by federal law. </div>
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Before anyone mentions Islam, the nation is actually <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Mozambique">56% Christian</a>, and only 17 % Muslim. Apparently this seems to be inspired by the Old Testament "Mosaic" law.</div>
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<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+22:28-29">Deuteronomy 22:28-29</a> (NIV):</div>
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<i><span class="text Deut-22-28" id="en-NIV-5499"><sup class="versenum">28 </sup>If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered,</span> <span class="text Deut-22-29" id="en-NIV-5500"><sup class="versenum">29 </sup>he shall pay her father fifty shekels<sup class="footnote" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-5500a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+22:28-29#fen-NIV-5500a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup> of silver. <b>He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her.</b> He can never divorce her as long as he lives.</span></i></blockquote>
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<br />As much as fundamentalists have been encouraging extremism in developing countries, such as the <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/11/30/1262421/family-research-council-blatantly-lies-about-supporting-ugandas-kill-the-gays-bill/#">Family Research Council's support</a> of efforts to criminalize homosexuality in Uganda, which unfortunately <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/03/09/us-uganda-gays-idUSBREA2806420140309">passed recently</a>, making homosexuality punishable by up to life in prison, I just have to wonder if American fundamentalist groups were behind this as well.</div>
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-320437373705410932014-03-09T14:20:00.002-06:002014-03-09T14:20:26.342-06:00An Emotion Filled Sunday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I had quite the experience this Sunday at my Unitarian church, it was great, but challenging at times. I had a panic attack for the first time in quite a while, and nothing seemed to trigger it, it was a slowly building light headed feeling combined with a feeling of impending doom that kept fading in and out as the service went on, it stopped shortly after, but I'm noticing signs even now as I'm typing of it trying to come back (chest pains).<br />
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I haven't had this happen in years, panic attacks I've had since my <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2012/10/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-from.html">disastrous year</a> at Southwest Baptist have been mild, infrequent, and usually had a trigger to them. None of those things applied today. It's making me worried that my anxiety issues are building a tolerance to the Cymbalta, I'm thinking I should talk to a psychiatrist. <br />
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It was though continuing stress was causing it, which is strange, because I've generally had a good outlook on life the last few weeks, there's been a lot of victories in life lately, I was approved for a loan on my house to do so much needed improvements (it hasn't been finalized yet), I've been establishing more <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/when-shirt-is-more-than-just-shirt.html">who I really am</a>, and soon I will have a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-times-are-changing-and-so-is-my-name.html">new name</a>.<br />
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In fact, during the services at this church, they have a tradition of letting people come up to the microphone to give "praises or sorrows". I used that time to announce to the church my name change, and I made a vague reference to my past/abusive family as one of the reasons for the change. I'm wondering if that triggered it, I felt fine at the time, but after that, it hit.<br />
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After the service was over, I started to recover slowly, I waited for several minutes to make sure I wouldn't pass out before standing up, and then went onto the potluck in their fellowship (yes, even uber liberal churches are Midwestern at heart).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh1wLVIF-h-jhzKPvNvcjL_RUxyURyZNFUARDA9rM8NsAlnRTI3dtzUT_atxK-KPifC4NgcWG0RpkJMnq0HZn3XzkX7UEbMmTTKWwLdnCmNUu0VwUe2sr-2sIhyphenhyphenNpqeMxHCj-PWbqtkQ7O/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh1wLVIF-h-jhzKPvNvcjL_RUxyURyZNFUARDA9rM8NsAlnRTI3dtzUT_atxK-KPifC4NgcWG0RpkJMnq0HZn3XzkX7UEbMmTTKWwLdnCmNUu0VwUe2sr-2sIhyphenhyphenNpqeMxHCj-PWbqtkQ7O/s1600/index.jpg" /></a></div>
The church has a tradition of using name tags during the service, and I was talking to the woman who coordinates that, as well as setting up the ushers for each service. She wanted to know if my name change was due to "transition".<br />
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My new name is somewhat gender neutral, and she was wondering because there are several trans people in the church. I thought it was funny, and it's a sign of why I love this congregation.<br />
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In fact, the gender neutral nature of the name is actually one of the reasons I picked it. <br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />You see, it's kind of reflection of how I feel. In a past post, I talked about how I don't really <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-dont-understand-why-gender-is-so.html">feel masculine or feminine </a>, though people tend to see me as being very masculine. Most of the way I dress is mostly because it's comfortable to me and functional. I got used to steel toe shoes and boots from working in the warehouse industry. My camouflage coat is due to the fact that it is hunting style gear, and so it's durable and very warm. My beard is due to the fact that without it, people think I'm about 15, and it's hard to get anyone to take me seriously that way if they think I'm a teen.<br />
<br />
None of it is much of a reflection of how I feel on the inside. It's hard for me to identify emotionally as male or female. I'm just me... Call that what you will. I didn't know what to put on Facebook's gender status when they started allowing custom options, "non-binary" sounded close enough.<br />
<br />
Oddly, enough, I haven't told my sister about this yet, I guess I'm trying to introduce who I really am to her, little by little. She has already said that I have changed a lot recently, cutting parents out of my life, changing the name, it's been a lot for her to get used to, though she still supports me. I wonder how she would take this, knowing her beliefs, would she understand it?</div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-48271543523436139532014-03-04T14:03:00.002-06:002014-03-04T14:03:49.906-06:00The Times Are Changing (And So Is My Name)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have long hated my legal name for many reasons, from the fact that not many people know how to pronounce or spell my first name (although that had gotten better in recent years since it started gaining popularity in Christian circles), and the fact that my "mother" had given it to me, and my middle name was after my father. It felt like I had a cattle brand on my back from my so called mother, and I wanted it gone, now that they are <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">no longer in my life.</a><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS5Ou-l0ccSM5hxv9F_lk0HlX_SK4XL_-x_dGf8BvLr6PR8Z_3RJTj9O4Epccn8JEuMN3V5qFcbi8MW-sqoIEq3tjjjQbT-v8dQzfl9w3WviNm0msuWNg8LBh4ZLUWBESruE5bGb2Q3YSW/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS5Ou-l0ccSM5hxv9F_lk0HlX_SK4XL_-x_dGf8BvLr6PR8Z_3RJTj9O4Epccn8JEuMN3V5qFcbi8MW-sqoIEq3tjjjQbT-v8dQzfl9w3WviNm0msuWNg8LBh4ZLUWBESruE5bGb2Q3YSW/s1600/index.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Madison County's courthouse and county <br />administration building</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So, today, I went down to the Circuit Clerk's office for Madison County, Illinois, and filed the paperwork I had printed out for a legal name change. I filed the paperwork for a legal name change, applying to have my first and middle names changed.<br />
<br />
I have no attachment to my last name at all, but I figured that changing my last name too could get confusing for both me and everyone else. Maybe later in life, if I get married, I'll change it to her last name. I'm definitely not a traditional kind of person, and <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-dont-understand-why-gender-is-so.html">societal gender norms have never made sense to me</a> anyway. <br />
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<br />
<a name='more'></a>I went through security at the courthouse, my steel toe shoes aggravated the metal detectors, as I warned the officers that they would do, and an officer felt the leg of the boots, making sure I wasn't hiding anything in them (thinking of it later, I wonder why they would go to such lengths with the boots, yet not make me take off my coat, and search it?). The officer directed me to the Circuit Clerk's office for their civil division, I filed the paperwork, and wrote a $219 check for the filing fee.<br />
<br />
Office staff then told me the procedure, that they will send me copies of the documents in the mail within the next few days, stating that it has been filed, and it will come with a form for me to present to a local newspaper for to file an ad for the legal classifieds section to run for 3 weeks, publicly announcing my intent to change my name.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjeQb4U9QLE-1xjPCEcQM-MhiwIZbCeJBJomd7RG1LTR1JMkKMfTiSMxmXe-UHs76xpUkoMO-NriIZd-TZ70985qQQOOPX_j8yPuZZZmo6hvq2onissuO6U_DXcJ_p0VrkW-dadtIAUmPq/s1600/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjeQb4U9QLE-1xjPCEcQM-MhiwIZbCeJBJomd7RG1LTR1JMkKMfTiSMxmXe-UHs76xpUkoMO-NriIZd-TZ70985qQQOOPX_j8yPuZZZmo6hvq2onissuO6U_DXcJ_p0VrkW-dadtIAUmPq/s1600/index.jpg" height="130" width="200" /></a></div>
After that's run it's course, then it goes to the judge within the next 2 weeks after the ad stops running, the judge will review everything, merely to check to see if everything has been filed properly in accordance with Illinois law.<br />
<br />
At that time I'll have a hearing with the judge where they will go through the formalities of officially declaring it done, and give me the documents to present to various governmental agencies to have my driver's license, car and house titles, Social Security card, etc changed to the new name. <br />
<br />
I was told the judges do not have the habit of asking for the reasons behind the name change, they just see it as a formality, stamp and move on. <br />
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It's a priceless feeling, in about 6 weeks, I will finally establish my identity, a new that's mine, and not one that was forced upon my by my abuser. It's a big symbolism that I'm moving on.<br />
</div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-17439774551906955762014-03-03T14:47:00.002-06:002014-03-03T14:47:53.472-06:00There's So Much That I Have Yet To Discover In This World<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Right now, I'm at a better place in life then I ever have been. I own my own house, I have a great (although clingy) dog, <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">my parents</a> are out of my life, I stood up to the pastor at the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but.html">creepy church</a> I was at while still hiding my true identity, I'm in a <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/unpacking-backpack.html">great Unitarian church</a> now, and I'm free to <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/i-dont-know-why-i-love-german-rock-so.html">listen to what I want,</a> <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/when-shirt-is-more-than-just-shirt.html">wear what I want,</a> and <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-dont-understand-why-gender-is-so.html">figure out who I am.</a><br />
<br />
The blog has been successful, averaging around 3,000 readers a week, and I've been published by some great major sites like <a href="http://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/category/ramblings-of-sheldon-2/">Homeschoolers Anonymous</a> and <a href="http://thewartburgwatch.com/2013/03/28/easter-church-attendance-and-a-story-of-the-loss-of-faith/">The Wartburg Watch</a> in the past. I've also been told that a loan I applied for to have work done on my house has been approved, and I have an appraiser coming over tomorrow as a part of the process.<br />
<br />
I've had a lot of successes, but there are times that I get a horrible case of the "What ifs?", especially when I look at the people I know from Homeschoolers Anonymous from Facebook, and what they have managed to accomplish in their lives, people who have graduate degrees, happy relationships with spouses/partners, etc.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc5mpLIocdlA7lYDfYUnDzgD23XjpzLCS8hr1giIxf4MD9rcnGUqc9pAjJwXz64uteY-VPKGx9t19sKqeygCgSDcop6xRAHcQsv78trz5fP5KFj0x2MXtgKrPecDZIU5jKw92_n5OVxUdK/s1600/imagesCA64FKIJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc5mpLIocdlA7lYDfYUnDzgD23XjpzLCS8hr1giIxf4MD9rcnGUqc9pAjJwXz64uteY-VPKGx9t19sKqeygCgSDcop6xRAHcQsv78trz5fP5KFj0x2MXtgKrPecDZIU5jKw92_n5OVxUdK/s1600/imagesCA64FKIJ.jpg" /></a></div>
What if I hadn't been so isolated as a homeschooler and actually knew how to relate to people well now?? What if my mother would have actually been a good person, and had gotten me help for my depression instead of saying it was <a href="http://www.mysecretatheistblog.com/2012/10/guest-post-sheldon-cooper-from.html">"guilt/not having a right relationship with god"?</a> What more could I have gotten done in life by now had she just disowned me instead of <a href="http://www.heretichusband.com/2013/06/guest-post-i-am-not-victim-i-am.html">threatening me with violence to stay,</a> and forcing me to go to a college she certainly knew was a scam? <br />
<br />
My life could have been so much different, and better had the circumstances been different, but I can't dwell on that, there's no good that can come from going down that depressing trail, other than working to try to make sure that no one else has to go through that kind of life I did, trying to bring attention to abusive groups and ideologies. <br />
<br />
I can't change what happened, but I can look forward to the future, to things I can experience now, and there is <strong>so much</strong> that I need to get out there and experience, I've already had some new experiences with the Unitarian church, I've loved it, it was a completely new environment for me, and a welcome relief from the churches of my past. I've also loved volunteering for <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-want-dog-farm.html">an animal shelter</a>.<a name='more'></a><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAFiyBdwOXgySc0lFPrlbHHJjS0rG0TqYMOyVmeorEG0ltt0DL4VAGBU7b6sz8wN9gashObUjETM5MHNRPcvLzWsYXP0SjUEp5ER-92vff-ROai818jg6y4IdLG63znBmX4r-KPoTwhAf/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAFiyBdwOXgySc0lFPrlbHHJjS0rG0TqYMOyVmeorEG0ltt0DL4VAGBU7b6sz8wN9gashObUjETM5MHNRPcvLzWsYXP0SjUEp5ER-92vff-ROai818jg6y4IdLG63znBmX4r-KPoTwhAf/s1600/untitled.png" style="cursor: move;" unselectable="on" /></a></div>
There's so much more that I still have yet to experience in this world, though, and sometimes I don't even know where I should begin in exploring the world around me. I know there's a few things I want to do, it would be amazing if I could ever get the chance to see a concert by a great group like Bad Religion or Rammstein. <br />
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I know that I want to <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/nothing-left-here-for-me-in-this-town.html">live somewhere other than Granite City</a> in the near future, and that I really want to start a new relationship, my first post fundamentalism, as for anything else, I'm kind of out of ideas.<br />
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It feels so liberating to finally be myself now, but I wondering where do I go from here? <br />
<img height="96" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAFiyBdwOXgySc0lFPrlbHHJjS0rG0TqYMOyVmeorEG0ltt0DL4VAGBU7b6sz8wN9gashObUjETM5MHNRPcvLzWsYXP0SjUEp5ER-92vff-ROai818jg6y4IdLG63znBmX4r-KPoTwhAf/s1600/untitled.png" style="filter: alpha(opacity=30); left: 241px; opacity: 0.3; position: absolute; top: 669px;" width="96" /></div>
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I had been needing new clothes for some time now, between working to rebuild my house, and gaining a few pounds lately, many of my clothes (pants especially), were too tight, had paint on them, or were wearing out. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHuvw8Q9KRyKSowiZDGpyoCBBDAln3yDIJ7aha8RZQQWQmHKSQHhs7Ik2dWm6vN_YZuL6pBiMZXgT8XRfhwgG5w0zIjZhYQ0EtDZNO4CbnZCOe6NcQdyqYZ-VN9j-m0_2B1qiUbO2E5zHm/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHuvw8Q9KRyKSowiZDGpyoCBBDAln3yDIJ7aha8RZQQWQmHKSQHhs7Ik2dWm6vN_YZuL6pBiMZXgT8XRfhwgG5w0zIjZhYQ0EtDZNO4CbnZCOe6NcQdyqYZ-VN9j-m0_2B1qiUbO2E5zHm/s1600/untitled.png" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
I had been buying some clothes with each paycheck, and then my tax refund came in. I bought for myself what I wanted, regardless of what anyone else would think of it for the first time. It was liberating at first when I bought a Pink Floyd shirt and a Sons of Anarchy "Fear the Reaper" emblem shirt, and I could walk around without a care in the world. <br />
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You see, I growing up, my mother who absorbed a lot of the superstition of the extreme Pentecostal beliefs she encountered when she converted. <br />
<br />
There was evil hiding behind every corner, most forms of modern music were "evil", and she unfortunately even believed the <a href="http://www.snopes.com/music/hidden/kiss.asp">"Knight's In Satan's Service" hoax.</a> I wish I was joking. Anything that seemed remotely loud, dark or edgy was something scary to her. She was always more extreme than the churches we were in, strangely enough, but this kind of paranoia does creep into evangelical/fundamentalist world in many ways, ways that I bought into. <br />
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The "fundigelical" world is very paranoid, convinced that outsiders are after them, convinced that the rest of the world is <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/formerlyfundie/real-v-fake-persecution/">"persecuting them",</a> and often fear and hate groups they don't understand, LGBT people, people practicing any other religion, and well, just the outside world in general. <br />
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Ironically it was the intersection of music/media and a person of another religion that in part, helped to lead me out of fundamentalism. Today, I met with a woman who I used to know. She owned a store in my town that sold hard rock memorabilia. <br />
<br />
At that point in my life, about 4 years ago, I was starting to question everything I had even known, and I don't know what led me in the door the first time, perhaps it was curiosity, since the store was across the street from a local government building where I was doing a student internship at, seeing that store sitting there day after day, wondering what kind of people I would find in there, running a store like that.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEL0DI-JD_0b4VLOafRU3d4vEgzANy84zdJoEUprSflq8ZwiuUKPJpzS4qD34WS2tUZTKloBZR82Fy6eoUGFXwVMRKk2TmdHUMvSIrJHmbmx_jCXL8aybwyyDXKIET1D4gIeaMC6uxUvi/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEL0DI-JD_0b4VLOafRU3d4vEgzANy84zdJoEUprSflq8ZwiuUKPJpzS4qD34WS2tUZTKloBZR82Fy6eoUGFXwVMRKk2TmdHUMvSIrJHmbmx_jCXL8aybwyyDXKIET1D4gIeaMC6uxUvi/s1600/untitled.png" /></a></div>
I never knew I would find one of the most wise, mature, loving people I would ever meet in my lifetime. Here's the kicker: She's Wiccan. Many people in the fundamentalist world mistakenly believe that Wicca = Satanism, or at least fear it as something dark and mysterious that they feel is "evil", but at this point, I wasn't trusting anything I had been told before as truth until I learned for myself. I found out that everything I had been told was a lie, and I was glad that I kept an open mind.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, the store closed in October 2012, and life got busy for me, and I hadn't heard from her much since then.<a name='more'></a><br />
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Recently, I looked her up on Facebook, and today, I spent several hours talking with her at her house about anything and everything, and what had happened to me recently. She had been reading my blog, so she knew some of what was going on, including <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">The Confrontation..</a> She still had some of the merchandise from the store left over, and I had bought an Avenged Sevenfold and a Metallica shirt.<br />
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Sometimes, I don't think she realizes how much of an impact she had on me at that point in my life, I said something about it, and she joked about being a "bad influence", but meeting someone like her, who was hated by the people who I grew up with, and who I was taught to hate, and realizing that everything I was told was a lie lead so many of my fundamentalist thought patterns to coming crashing down violently. <br />
<br />
Today, when I wear a shirt like that, AC/DC, Metallica, Sons of Anarchy, etc, it feels both liberating, and defiant. It's a way of both reflecting what I like, and my way of giving a giant "fuck you" to the hate, fear and paranoia that I was raised with, it's my way of announcing that I am a different person, the hate and ignorance is no longer a part of who I am. <br />
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<strong>I am finally free.</strong><br />
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</div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-27583205624237351182014-02-24T15:34:00.000-06:002014-02-24T15:34:31.840-06:00A St. Louis Area Animal Shelter Desperately Needs Your Help!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Up until now, I hadn't mentioned the name of the <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-want-dog-farm.html">animal shelter I volunteer at</a>, mostly for security reasons, ever since <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/12/changed-locks-and-violent-parents-part.html">The Confrontation</a>, I've been more mindful of not being very specific about where I'm at, or where I go.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXU91mDzuAr6F5mipNxQM-a_elnFp0GV-pPEMW_Iss5EkKKrhihOqDD5NvAq94rJoqs3P1Gdi93qg1EQzBP3-jW8lMYbAemwOTf5p4dsghtbDKSHKSLScuqMOQTlxrkB6nDZTruR64zBMt/s1600/Logo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXU91mDzuAr6F5mipNxQM-a_elnFp0GV-pPEMW_Iss5EkKKrhihOqDD5NvAq94rJoqs3P1Gdi93qg1EQzBP3-jW8lMYbAemwOTf5p4dsghtbDKSHKSLScuqMOQTlxrkB6nDZTruR64zBMt/s1600/Logo1.jpg" height="84" width="200" /></a> Something has come up this week, however that has lead me to violate this rule just once. I have been volunteering to Granite City's <a href="http://www.gcapa.org/">APA chapter</a>, and today, I was talking to their volunteers and their treasurer, who stopped in to pick up the adoption paperwork and related fees.<br />
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Right now, they have had a lot of success with adopting out animals, thankfully. They have been spreading the word online more about the shelter (check out their listings of <a href="http://www.petfinder.com/pet-search?&shelter_id=IL176&Animal=dog&preview=1">dogs</a> and <a href="http://www.petfinder.com/pet-search?&shelter_id=IL176&Animal=cat&preview=1">cats</a> for adoption on Petfinder), and locally, so animals have been going out the doors rather quickly, but they are also getting a good deal of animals in as well.<br />
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They have started running so low on funds that they are considering ending their open house hours, where visitors can come in and view the animals for adoption, for the rest of this week, and they are having a hard time keeping the doors open altogether.<br />
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I hope that by putting this out there, that I can help them. I hope some of you can donate, check out <a href="http://gcapa.org/">their website</a>, there is a PayPal donate button on the homepage, or consider sending them an item on <a href="http://gcapa.org/home/what_we_need">their wishlist</a>.<br />
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In addition to what they have listed there, they also need harness for large dogs, to make it easier to walk them (I've personally walked some of their pit bulls with just a leash and collar, it's a hassle). I just got my tax refund in, so I'll probably be writing a check to them myself. If you can't afford to donate, just simply passing this blog post around on social media, or your blog would be a great help.<br />
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From what I'm hearing, this shelter has had their funds stretched thin for quite a while, but it's hitting a very desperate point right now, they're having a hard time paying operating costs, and they're wondering what they will do in the future. I have personally seen the great work they have done, and they do so much with what little they do have, it would be such a shame to see this shelter, a no kill shelter that takes in dogs from local pounds, no less, to close down. Please do what you can to help. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXkmXF4geIPEqzsWwgbMJcZqbrukLx4-0UeyBcewpgI38qqTulR59NP5_L-4ESHt2pWR7Q-NBOibDxKVRok6sOTOBAH1kRkykkzkSqhNtn5tnTmKkLgJVjmrZiHABUcYLRQnnJlgr3Opky/s1600/23898195-1-800x0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXkmXF4geIPEqzsWwgbMJcZqbrukLx4-0UeyBcewpgI38qqTulR59NP5_L-4ESHt2pWR7Q-NBOibDxKVRok6sOTOBAH1kRkykkzkSqhNtn5tnTmKkLgJVjmrZiHABUcYLRQnnJlgr3Opky/s1600/23898195-1-800x0.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tobey, a Dalmatian mix at the APA (<a href="http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/23898195/">Petfinder profile</a>)</td></tr>
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Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com0Granite City, IL, USA38.7014389 -90.148719938.503276899999996 -90.4714434 38.8996009 -89.825996400000008tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7477053899127840506.post-56362382650502418682014-02-18T11:17:00.000-06:002014-02-18T11:35:42.663-06:00Michael Farris, HSLDA and Patrick Henry's College's Silencing of Sexual Assualt Victims<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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HSLDA is an organization that as a young fundamentalist homeschooler, I once admired. I bought Micheal Farris' lines about defending freedom, and fighting for homeschooling rights. Now, Micheal Farris and HSLDA sicken me. When I see his smug, smiling face, I see <b>the face of evil. </b><br />
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That sound a bit harsh, doesn't it? Well, let me review why I feel this way about him. There's been many recent revelations about him and his organization lately, <b> </b>including the facts about how they once called a man who forced his children to live in cages <b>"a hero"</b>, and how they want to <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2013/05/hslda-we-would-rather-stand-behind.html">dismantle all legal protections for children</a>, all while campaigning for "parent's rights".<br />
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Recently, it also came to light how cult leader Bill Gothard, who is facing some extreme allegations of sexual abuse and sexual harassment of his staff, was <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/cult-leader-bill-gothard-new-abuse.html">Micheal Farris' mentor</a>.<br />
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If you thought it couldn't get any worse, there's been new information coming to light about how not only have there been reports of sexual assault and harassment coming out of Patrick Henry College, the college Farris founded, but that staff tried to intimidate victims into silence, but questioned their accounts, and even out rightly blamed them for what was done to them.<br />
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Here's more from a report from the magazine New Republic, titled <a href="http://www.newrepublic.com/article/116623/sexual-assault-patrick-henry-college-gods-harvard">"Sexual Assault at God's Harvard"</a>:<br />
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Here's what one student had to say:<br />
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<i>“Basically, my issue was swept under the rug, and the assaulter received
little else but a reprimand,” says a young woman who attended Patrick
Henry between 2004 and 2008. The student fell asleep at an off-campus
party where there had been drinking and was awoken by a male PHC student
assaulting her. She says she reported the incident to Patrick Henry.<b>
“The administration encouraged me to not go to the police and said that,
because alcohol was involved and I was violating the rules there, they
hinted that I could be expelled if I brought light to the incident,”</b> the
student says. “The focus was the alcohol. I drank. I sinned. I deserved
to be assaulted in the middle of the night.” </i></blockquote>
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One student, after it came to light that she had been cutting herself because of trauma from a sexual assault that had happened before she arrived at PHC was essentially forced out of the college by Sandra Corbitt, Dean of Student Life:<br />
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<i>Another student, who asked to remain anonymous, says she was raped the
summer before her freshman year. When she arrived at PHC in the fall of
2007, she was deeply depressed and cutting herself. She was summoned to
Corbitt’s office. “I remember her smiling a lot in a forced, insincere
way while she was telling me that ‘someone’ had relayed to her my
‘issues,’ and the ‘administration was concerned about my ability to
successfully complete the semester,’ ” she wrote in an e-mail.</i> </blockquote>
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<i>The dean
insisted that she take a psychological evaluation, then called her back
to the Office of Student Life, got her parents on speakerphone, and made
her tell them about the assault. When she choked up, the student says,
Corbitt cut in to finish the job. <b>Then the dean informed her parents
that she was unfit for PHC and needed to be retrieved immediately. Her
father flew out the following day and whisked her away, says the
student.</b></i></blockquote>
When confronted about this via Facebook by Ryan Stollar, founder of <a href="http://homeschoolersanonymous.wordpress.com/stories/">Homeschoolers Anonymous</a> and his supporters (myself included) on Facebook post he wrote that was a thinly veiled reference to the sexual abuse allegations coming to light about <a href="http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/02/cult-leader-bill-gothard-new-abuse.html">his mentor, Bill Gothard</a>, he deleted the post from his public Facebook page rather than face the criticism, and he has apparently blocked me from his public page in retaliation. (I no longer find it on Facebook search, but I can find his personal page).<br />
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When confronted about it again (as well as his censorship of all criticism), on a seperate post, here is what he finally had to say in response:<br />
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"Moreover, we had reliable evidence in both of the cases directly from the women involved that the behavior was consensual". </blockquote>
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That was in reference to the two cases mentioned in the article that directly involved PHC and the perpetrator was a student. Why did he feel it was adequate for PHC to make this determination, instead of local law enforcement/prosecutors?<br />
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This line from his statement, I especially find ludicrous, and a sign that he actually knows that the allegations were true (let me explain in a moment):<br />
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"I do not run PHC, I was not the president during any of these events. I cannot fire anyone except for my own secretary"</blockquote>
This was not only a reference to PHC's problems in general, but about calls from supporters of Homeschoolers Anonymous that he fire Sandra Corbitt, Dean of Student Life. He claims that he has no authority over PHC (other than his personal secretary, of course), even though it was the college <b>he founded</b>. By the way, look who is listed as PHC's chancellor <a href="https://www.phc.edu/chancellor.php">on their own website</a>:<br />
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The website not only lists him as their <b>chancellor and founding president</b>, but also mentions that he still teaches Constitutional Law there and coaches their debate team. Mr. Farris, if you're going to claim that you have very little connections to the college, don't make it so bloody obvious on the college's website that this isn't the truth. The double talk is rather laughable.<br />
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The reason why I said that his pathetic attempt to distance himself from PHC is further proof that the allegations are true is that as a lawyer, and someone who has been in the public eye for 30 + years, he knows all about public image.<br />
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The fact that he is trying to distance himself from PHC shows that he knows, (or at the very least suspects), that the allegations are in fact, the truth, and that if more information and proof were to come out about PHC's practices, then he has already tried to establish himself on the record his claims that he doesn't have much to do with the college anymore, and he can try to wash his hands of the whole affair.<br />
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He wants plausible denial, he wants to act like this caught him unaware.<br />
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Sorry, Mr. Farris, it's doesn't work that way, PHC was your baby, your pride and joy from day one, your mission in life, and we all know it......</div>
Sheldon Cooperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17660822618786253558noreply@blogger.com2Granite City, IL, USA38.7014389 -90.148719938.503276899999996 -90.4714434 38.8996009 -89.825996400000008