Monday, January 7, 2013

Why Does Only The Book Of Matthew Mention The Zombies?


 In case you are wondering from the title, yes the Bible does mention zombies. In the account of Jesus' death and resurrection in the book of Matthew, in chapter 27, it claims that people were brought back to life at that exact moment of Jesus' death.

It says that at the time of his death, there was an earthquake, a curtain in the temple was ripped from top to bottom, and that people came back to life, and went to the "holy city" (Jerusalem), and appeared to many people.

Here's the text from Matthew 27:

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and[e] went into the holy city and appeared to many people.
 Now here Mark's account in chapter 15:
 33 At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. 34 And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).[b]
35 When some of those standing near heard this, they said, “Listen, he’s calling Elijah.”
36 Someone ran, filled a sponge with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to take him down,” he said.
37 With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.
38 The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. 39 And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, saw how he died,[c] he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”
40 Some women were watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph,[d] and Salome. 41 In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there.
 No mention of the zombies there....

Here's Luke's account, in chapter 23:

44 It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, 45 for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”[e] When he had said this, he breathed his last.
47 The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” 48 When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away. 49 But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.

Something missing?

Here's the account in John, chapter 19.

28 Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Notice that John not only doesn't talk about an earthquake, but he doesn't mention the zombies either.

Look at the differences between the accounts, some accounts mention certain major details, and others don't. Don't you think something as important as people coming back to life and wandering around Jerusalem would have been considered so memorable and such a major point to mention that all of the writers of the four books known as the "Gospels" would have all mentioned them?

Better yet, why didn't any Jewish historian like Josephus, or any of the Roman historians (since Jerusalem was occupied by the Roman empire at the time) mention it as fact, or at least mention the rumors about it?

Maybe it's because, (gasp), it didn't happen!


  1. Hmmm. Maybe it wasn't mentioned in the other gospels because the zombies were devouring people's brains left and right, and the other gospel authors just preferred to forget the whole unpleasant incident.

    Or the gospels are just stories. Either one.

    1. Lol. Maybe a few too many brains were eaten.'

      Where do zombie legends as we know of, come from, anyway?

  2. I think the detail that you are missing is that back in bible times, zombies were raised from the dead all the time. It was not an unusual event by any means which is why the other authors didn't mention it. In fact, the longer you pay attention to a zombie, the longer they would take before digging themselves a fresh grave and going back to "sleep". So it was considered rude to acknowledge the zombies in any way, so much so that it was rarely even written about.

    The real miracle is that Matthew knew to commit this faux pas so that those of us here in the future would even be aware of the zombies that they had to face on a daily basis. How did Matthew know that this would be the last mass resurrection event ever and that he should write it down? There is no way he could have! This alone is proof that God exists and had a hand in writing the bible!

    1. All of the comments here are making me laugh, thanks. :)

  3. Great post Sheldon. This is one of the many examples where the Gospel authors are not on the same page. This would not be a huge deal if the things that they either omit or disagree on were not of such magnitude.

    1. When I was a fundie, the explanation given on details not mentioned in one gospel, but mentioned in the other, was either that some writers considered certain details more important than others, or the witnesses they interviewed only saw parts of what happened.

      They compare it to eyewitnesses of a crime. If all their stories sound too similar, they are probably lying, because everyone notices something different about a scene, based on their view, and their past experiences.

      My question is, why did some of the gospel writers miss some details that were some important, or memorable? Had the zombie incident actually happened, it probably would have been the most memorable, and most widely known incident of the whole ordeal.

  4. Fundamentalists may consider the newly raised saints "zombie spirits" that spoke to people's hearts as against to eating their brains. Of course, that makes as much sense as a guy raising from the dead.

    All kidding aside, I know that Mathew and Luke used Mark as a reference source when writing their gospels (thank you Bible Geek for dropping that knowledge down). However, finding the origin of the zombie story would be interesting (i.e., was it borrowed from the Mithras cult? of was it a complete fabrication from the author of Mathew after a night of heavy drinking?).

    1. I do wonder where Matthew's zombie story came from, especially since none of the others talk about it.

      I have heard the theory that Matthew and Luke were based off of Mark, or some think that all three writers were basing their writing off of a book that has become lost to history, simply referred to as "Q".


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