Even when I'm not posting regularly, I still get a decent amount of pageviews for the blog (the baseline is usually about 1,500 readers a week), mostly because of my past posts on the Independent Fundamental Baptist cult, I get quite a few people coming to the blog because of search terms related to the IFB, many of those posts are popular months later.
One recent comment, though was far different, and I wanted to know what you out there in the blog audience thought of it (original comment can be read on my post about IFB leader Bill Gothard):
Apparently from the last line, they seem to think that I grew up in the IFB, I did spend several years in an IFB ran private school, but my exposure to them was rather limited compared to some people, including my sister, who fell hard for their teachings in her 20's. What effected me far worse than that time in the IFB (I don't even have much memories of the time period in that school, most of what I remember about the IFB was through my sister's experience), what has effected me far worse was the way I was treated as a child, and the problems with my family within the last several years.
This comment made me think, if I would have had a different family, would I still be a Christian today? I know I probably can't go back now, what I have seen of the Bible, and learned in recent years can't be undone, there's no going back, but if I had a family that instead of blaming me for my mental illness, and denying it existed, and supported me, and loved me instead would I have ever left Christianity?
I've said before that like most Christians, and especially most fundamentalists, I didn't focus much on the Old Testament, until I started doubling down, and trying to "get a right relationship with god" after that nervous breakdown, then I really saw how horrible it was, and then I started getting so many questions and doubts about most everything else. If I had a more caring family, and maybe if I would have had a family that was more moderate/liberal, and didn't interpret the Bible so rigidly, regarding stories like Noah's Ark and the Creation story as figurative instead of literal fact, maybe it all wouldn't have come crashing down so quickly.
Maybe it's kind of pointless to ask such what if questions, since I may never know the answers.
Do you think I might have remained in Christianity had my life been different than it was? What do you think of that comment from that reader of the blog?
Given your intelligence, I think you would have realized the truth about Christianity and left at some point. However, if your experience had been more positive, you might have left the faith on better terms.
ReplyDeleteI probably would have had an easier transition out, or maybe I would have just left fundamentalism, and become the male version of Rachel Held Evans, lol.
DeleteI would say you would have still left Christianity. The thing is mental health even with understanding from family is something you still need to work through and it gets you thinking deeply about things. This deep thinking makes you realise what is good and what is bad for you.
ReplyDeleteAs for the comment. This kind of thing irritates me as people always like to associate with good and dissociate the bad. But if your church has good and bad (like most do) then you cant dissociate from it. By been a part of it, you are condoning the behaviour.
I did notice they portrayed Christianity as something fulfilling and good, which some people pervert and turn into a tool of abuse and oppression.
DeleteI have noticed that my thought patterns are different than most people, I always want to dig deeper, and feel much of what people believe and do in our society to be pointless.
I think maybe the IFB made your faith more brittle, and what is brittle breaks more easily.
ReplyDeleteI'm having problems with organized religion, but I still believe in Jesus. I was raised in a tradition where faith was less brittle. Mine has bent a fair bit, but is not broken.
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ReplyDeleteFundamentalism as a movement has worn out its name. Institutional "church" has sold believers a bill of goods that's difficult to return for a refund. I, like Julia, have experienced a faith that has bent but is not broken. Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of the longing for man to be rightly related to our God.
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