It's bizarre, she kept her normal personality all through the rebuilding of the house, but now, she seems to be somewhat not only treating me like an adult human being (which is something she was incapable of before, I always felt like I was more of property than a son to her), but she's acting like I'm her equal, it's bizarre, and I can't help but question her motives. She's gone out of her way to help, even helping to take care of "Happy Horse" even though she used to be scared of large dogs, and is in fact mildly allergic to them.
This is the same woman who slapped me around as a child, barricaded the door when I tried to move out several years ago (and threatened violence against me, and said I would deserve it if she did), forced me to go to a college she probably knew was a scam, just so I wouldn't have the time to work and earn enough money to leave, and was so psychologically abusive and controlling when I was living with her that it damn near drove me to the point of suicide.
Not only all that, but remember my recent (and still ongoing) series on my father's mental health issues when I was a teen? One detail I left out, (and don't know why), is that she was actually going to divorce him at first during this time, the only thing that kept her from doing so was the fact that I made it clear that if she left him, I would do everything I could possible to convince the judge to let me stay with my dad. Though it's an understatement to say that US courts have a heavy bias toward mothers in divorce cases, I was about 13 at the time, and the court would take notice that I was heavily campaigning to go with my father and wonder why (and I would have told them).
So if you want to call me bitter, unforgiving, and mistrusting, then fine, because you're right, and I feel like I have good reason to. She only truly cares about herself, and what she wants, she's a sociopath, to put it bluntly. I have no clue what's behind this campaign of trying to act all nice.
|Jack Schaap, former pastor of FBC Hammond, |
Indiana (now serving prison time for sexual abuse)
I don't see how she would think that in my case, though. I'm broke, I need all the help I can get, since I'm paying off debt that I owe to her, and that's straining my budget heavily each month. There's got to be something more behind this, but I don't know what it is, I don't think she's capable of changing, to be quite honest. Do people like this ever change?
Despite her good demeanor right now, I still don't think she the core of who she is and what she believes has changed. She has never apologized for anything she has done in the past, or shown any signs of remorse, none whatsoever. She's still as fundamentalist as she always was, and from time to time, whenever something regarding homeschooling is mentioned, still stands by her decisions in that regard. I doubt if I came out now about being agnostic, that the consquences would be anything good, or even neutral.
I really don't think she has changed at all....