It’s funny how people often say that when they breakup,
instead of just saying that the relationship isn’t working anymore, stating
why, and just breaking it off more honestly. I’ve always found that phrase kind
of odd, but in some ways I definitely understand it, although in a much
different context, and with a completely different meaning.
I prefer that people give me plenty of space in my personal
life, physically and emotionally, I don’t want people hovering over me. I don’t
have a favorite seat that I won’t let people sit in, but I definitely understand
the fictional Sheldon wanting people to stay out of his bedroom, I’m the same
way.
Stay out of my room, stay out of my car, unless you happen
to be riding with me in it for some reason (don’t just randomly get into it, if
you need something out of it, I’ll get it), and for crying out, don’t stand
right on top of me. I like my personal space, and there are certain places that
should just be mine to be in. I don’t take very kindly to personal
space invaders.
I’ve noticed how much of a difference it makes when I’m
allowed to have my space after spending two nights at the house I am
rebuilding. I don’t know what mom’s big rush for me to move in there was all
about, the siding isn’t completely done yet, the fence isn’t done, and a
heating and cooling company is going to be looking into why the furnace doesn’t
work on Monday (hooray, another bill! lol)
After all, she’s the one that for 5 years was hell bent on
forcing me to stay in her house, barricading
me in a room at one point when I tried to leave. “But you didn’t have a plan,
where were you going to live, how were you going to have any money?” she said
as her excuse for forcing me to stay then (and still stands by those excuses to
this day).
Hmm….. Let’s see, why didn’t I have that plan again? Yes,
that’s right, it was because you wouldn’t let me work, and I didn’t hardly have
the time for it anyway because you kept pushing me to go to a local community
college that I had already proven to you in many different ways that it was a
complete scam, but you kept denying it (I think she knew all along, but it was
a convenient way to tie me down), so I couldn’t have a job, money, or a place
to go, and you would have gotten in the way of any plan I had to try to leave
anyway. Does that about cover it?
Anyway, the interior of the house is done, and since I have
spent the last two nights over there, I’ve noticed that I’m much more awake in
the mornings than I used to be, and more relaxed. That helps me out in so many
different ways.
My memory completely shatters into pieces, and my cognitive abilities
are cut in about half of what they normally are when I’m extremely stressed or
tired.
My co-workers are still hassling me about leaving my keys in the
ignition with the car running last week during one of those ultra stressed
days. I was glad that Edwardsville’s police department came and unlocked it,
otherwise I would have been utterly screwed, I could have called emergency
roadside service through my insurance, but the insurance cards and phone number
for my insurance were in the car….
