The congregation is quite a mix of people, 5 of their 7 board members are female, and a woman that acts in a somewhat unofficial capacity as an assistant pastor is a lesbian and a scientist with a PhD, if that gives you an idea what the congregation is like. Some Sundays, I would guess that about 20 % of the congregation is LGBT. It was really something to get used to, it was a brand new experience compared to congregations I have been in before.
Well, the church helped quite a bit with getting to meet new people, and having new experiences, but I was wondering what I should do about dating, because it's hard for me to relate to people in person. Many blog fans recommended online dating, and I finally jumped in this week (it's part of the reason why I haven't been updating the blog like I should be).
If the Unitarian church was a new experience, well, the idea of trying to date again definitely feels like navigating uncharted waters in rough seas.
A few few of my longtime online friends were trying to help me out, and a few from a group I'm a part of on Google + that I have known for a while were looking over my profile, giving recommendations, and tips they have learned from trying to navigate online dating themselves.
I was told by some to be upfront, and lay it out there, so I did, as much as I felt comfortable with, I don't go as much into extremes as here on the blog, I didn't mention anything about my family, but I talked about the basics, ex-fundamentalist, former home school kid, turned agnostic/Unitarian, enjoys dogs, volunteers for an animal shelter, INTJ on Briggs Myer scale, etc.. I posted a picture of myself, and also a separate photo of "Happy Horse", since I had mentioned having a dog, and hoped for the best.
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It wasn't as though I would have a problem with graduate students, a great friend of mine, Lana Hope is a graduate philosophy student. I just didn't know if they would be accepting of me, considering me a little too "blue collar" for them, since I'm a smart guy, but also a warehouse clerk.
Indeed, when going through many of the profiles, when I would see the questions they answered, many said that they wouldn't date someone who didn't already have at least a bachelor's degree or wasn't currently a student.
Oh well... I sent a few messages, got no replies from either that crowd, or other women that I had found through learning how to tweak the search parameters. A few, I noticed had actually checked my profile (the site I'm on shows visitor information), but never said anything.
Although, not all was a failure, a woman from a town near the Kentucky border in Illinois stumbled across me, and has been talking to me the last few days, I'll see how that turns out.
Sheldon's note: No, I'm not going to link to the profile or mention the site name on the blog, if you have been a long time fan of the blog, and want to see it, notify me at ramblingsofsheldon@gmail.com, or let me know on Google + or Twitter.
By the way, here's Happy Horse:
Good luck, man. From what my single friends have told me, pay sites are preferable to the free ones.
ReplyDeleteWhich ones do they typically recommend?
DeleteI have two friends who found long term relationships on Match.com
DeleteJust guessing since you said other users answered questions as well as wrote a profile, but if the site you're using is OKCupid, the photo of Happy Horse might get deleted by the flagmods. You're not supposed to post pictures of just your pets, you have to be in every photo you post. And don't get discouraged by the lack of replies; it's a basic fact of online dating that most people won't message back. It's nothing personal, but it's something that a lot of people have a hard time adjusting to. I've found that while sometimes it can take a really long time to find someone worth talking to on OKC, that person usually ends up being a great friend because the site does a really good job of helping you find cool people you have a lot in common with. I've met two of my best friends there, and lots of not-best-but-still-really-good friends too haha.
ReplyDeleteOh, I didn't know EVERY picture had to be of you. Maybe someone can take a picture of me with him instead.Profile picture is just me.
DeleteIt's going to be hard to get used to, it keeps messing with my head when I send a message, I see the woman has viewed my profile, but didn't respond. I know there's plenty wrong with me, but it really drags me down, like people won't accept me at all....
If it is OKCupid, I've heard some horror stories, but mostly from women. I'm guessing you won't get "Hurr, hurr, slob my knob" messages.
ReplyDeleteIt's too soon since my last breakup to start looking again, but I'll take notes from your (and anyone else's) experience for if/when I ever end up trying online dating. And INTJs unite!
Yeah, I've heard stories, and even seen screen shots of that kind of crap.
DeleteI am considered a straight male because well, I'm biologically male and attracted only to women, but inside, I don't really feel masculine or feminine, hard to explain, maybe this recent post of mine will say it better:
http://ramblingsofsheldon.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-dont-understand-why-gender-is-so.html
You'll probably figure out this dating world before I will, lol.
No reason to limit yourself to one dating site. If you really want to get into it, try them all. Even pay sites usually have a month free or something.
ReplyDeleteI would marry someone who did not have a college degree, but I can understand why one would say on their profile that they want one with a college degree. After all, it's hard to weed through profiles as it is. The more narrow your criteria, the less to weed through. Don't get discouraged. I think most people take a long time to find someone on dating sites. I'd be nervous to try one out.
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ReplyDeleteEver since, I never had a problem with online dating sites. They've been a long time trend and, will always be. I say, there are really some sites that aren't so worthy of your time and there are your most trusted ones. As for me, --> (getlove4u.net) works perfectly and has been a part of my successful online love story. I would highly recommend it as well. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI am a single parent and for us it’s very important to find a balance in life. A balance that leaves us with some much needed time for ourselves. I have to do all work of my home along with my job. It’s been a year since we have been divorced. I have many things to deal with such as food, clothes,washing,drpping off and picking up and many other things. My friend is forcing me to go for online dating infact he have suggested me an online site FindingLove4You.com I haven’ visited it yet. I am confuse and don’t know what to do.
ReplyDelete